A few weeks ago I shared an article in which I reflected on the reasons why mothers stay up late, no matter how tired we are. One of them was that we like to go to sleep without so many slopes, so still late at night while the rest of our family sleeps, we continue our almost infinite maternal day.
Those who do not have children may wonder: and how many pending or how many things do moms have to do to always be tired? Well, it turns out that fatigue is not only physical, but also mental, and a mother shares in detail everything that we are "in charge of" in a publication that has now gone viral.
"I am the one in charge"
Cameron Poynter is a mom blogger from Virginia, United States, and like any mother, she knows that our work is one without rest or vacation. Recently he realized the huge amount of things for which we mothers are responsible and decided to share them in a publication on his Lucky Orange Pants page.
I am the one in charge.
I am in charge of the schedules. Training, games and lessons. Of projects, parties and dinners. Dating and homework.
I am in charge of information. Who needs food 5 minutes before a tantrum occurs and who needs space when angry. If there are clean clothes, if the bills have already been paid and if the milk has run out.
I am in charge of solutions. Bandits and sewing kits and snacks in my bag. But also of emotional balms and metaphorical security blankets.
I am in charge of preferences. Of likes and dislikes. Of nocturnal rituals and food aversions.
I am in charge of reminders. That they are friendly, that they lift their garbage, that they wash their dirty dishes, that they do their homework, that they hold the door open and that they write thank-you notes.
I am in charge of rituals and memories. From pumpkin patches and egg searches at Easter. I am the one who takes the photographs, the one who collects special decorations, the one who writes letters.
I am in charge of emotional security. The trustee, the one who navigates the bad moods, the one that keeps secrets and calms the fears.
I am in charge of peace. The mediator of fights, the referee of discussions, the language facilitator, the trainer of different personalities.
I am in charge of worries. Theirs and mine.
I am in charge of good and bad, big and small, beautiful and difficult.
Most of the time, the weight of these things I take care of is similar to the upper elements of the periodic table - lighter than air, keeping me with a sense of purpose.
But sometimes, the weight of those things pulls me down from the surface, until I'm kicking and struggling to break the surface and breathe.
Because these things that I take care of are constantly flashing in the back of my brain, waiting to be forgotten. They disperse my thoughts and keep me awake long after my bedtime.
Because all those things I take care of are invisible, intangible. They go unnoticed and unrecognized until they are needed. They are not evaluated or examined among peers or judged in a court. And sometimes, we take them for granted.
My husband and children are kind and generous, and they love me very much. And this is by far the greatest job I've had. But sometimes, being in charge can be tiring. Because you feel that you are doing it alone.
So to all those who are in charge, I see them.
I know the weight of the things they care for.
I know the invisible work they do, that does not come with a check or days of disability and that makes the world roll.
See you
And I applaud you.
The mental burden of mothers
Cameron's post has been shared more than 59,000 times and is undoubtedly one with which we identify many mothers. Each one of the things she lists is information that we store in our brain and on which much of family harmony depends In day to day.
If you are a mother and you read this article, maybe the things she mentions adapted to your family came to your mind: You started thinking about the missing earrings of the day or the list of things you should do tomorrow.
The truth and most important of that publication, is that the mental burden that we carry mothers is very large and mostly unnoticed by other people.
And although Motherhood is an experience that fills your heart, it can also be very, very exhausting. Fortunately, we are not alone and among moms we understand and support each other.
