A while ago I wrote an entry explaining something that had happened at the birth of my second son, Aran. Jon, the eldest, grew suddenly in my mind and, despite being three years old, from one day to the next he went from being my little boy to being my oldest son, coming to demand things that he had not demanded until then and getting too tight the rope.
Well, look that I was warned (and so warned, that I gave the notice myself) for the birth of the third child, but when Guim was born, Aran grew suddenly as well. That is why today I explain the same thing, but in the second and third child version: when the third child is born the second one grows suddenly and dad can really screw up.
When Guim was born, Aran entered the group of “the elders”
It happened like that in my mind. I had all the theory and had the experience of the other time, but still stumbled twice with the same stone. Guim was born and Aran suddenly stopped being our little boy to become part of the group of "elders". I had 3 children, but they were divided into two, the newborn, that is, the little one, and the elders.
For this reason, awkward of me, there were times when I demanded both of them the same things, without thinking that one is 6 years old and is very capable of doing many things, but the other is 3, and although it is very “older” For many things (and this perhaps hurt him because my subconscious knows it), he is still a 3-year-old boy who is beginning to know the world beyond himself.
Guim didn't help much either
If Guim had had the detail of resembling his father more than his mother, and I do not speak of the physical, but of the behavior, everything would have been easier. When my mother and mother-in-law get together it is clear that Miriam and I, when we were little, were night and day.
She didn't sleep almost and, when she did, the flight of a fly woke her up. He could never be alone, he cried in the hammock and cried in his arms, he could not detach himself from his parents or he would tie her up. I, on the other hand, was a child of “ON” and “OFF”. My mother says that I knew I had another child because I had a good memory, that if I could not have forgotten it. I didn't cry, in fact, my mother explains that when she cried she barely heard me, because she didn't make too much noise either (as if she didn't want to bother me).
Anyway, all this to explain that my first two children were very Miriam in this regard. I was hoping that this time, yes, on the third, my son would take some of my peaceful genes. But no, it wasn't like that. Already in the belly soon showed that we were going to realize when it came out, and so it has been. Guim is a plaintiff but can not, so much that, like Miriam, he also cries in his arms (which one says ... but what else do I do, if I already have you in my arms and rocking?).
The case is this, as Guim is so demanding he is in his arms all day, so when one is with him, the other tries to order the lives of the whole family running (house, food, clothes, children, papers, errands , etc.). In this equation “the elders” lose out, because it is difficult to find time to be with them. Jon gets along, but Aran has not gotten along so well and I, instead of thinking "he's only 3 years old," I came to think that "being of the elderly, you should understand that I can't".
Gradually, and thanks to Miriam, who saw him from outside ("you're asking too much"), I realized again the mistake I was making (again, cazurro?) And started trying to calm down with him, looking for where the time and patience to assist him when he needed me.
The sun comes back
Now, with Guim who has just turned four months old, I have three children: Jon, the eldest, Aran, the middle one and Guim, the little one. Each one with their particularities and needs and with a dad (I) more aware that each one deserves to be treated individually, and not necessarily in the same way.
Time passes, the new member is integrated into his new family (although I would almost say that his family is integrating the new member) and little by little we all find our place to try, above all, to be happy.
I know that we come to the world to be happy and to suffer (or so Pedro Guerra says, that "we come to be happy and to suffer"), but since suffering is uncontrollable because it comes from everywhere, our mission will be only focus on being happy. In that we are.
