I imagine that as soon as you read the headline you will be thinking that the answer to the question is a "No, nobody has to shout at my son because he is crying". What if I told you that To most people who have seen the video you will see below, the answer is "Yes, and very well done"?
It happened in a cafeteria in Portland, in the US, named Marcy's Diner, when last Saturday a couple and their daughter went to breakfast. Apparently, the delay in arriving at the meal caused the girl to start crying and probably had a tantrum (that moment in which she cries and cries and does not attend to reasons). The situation lasted a few minutes and the owner of the cafeteria decided that she did not have to keep hearing it and got her to shut up screaming at her. I ask the question again: Should strangers "educate" our children?
After what happened, the mother, Tara Carson, left a letter on the cafeteria's Facebook page, complaining about what happened:
I had the worst experience in this establishment. The owner is a real lunatic and shouted at my face to my daughter of almost 2 years because I was crying. Who in their right mind would behave like this unless degenerated? If you have a problem with a girl who cries, then you are not the right one to run a business. If it bothered you so much, you should have talked to me and not traumatize my little girl screaming in her face. Karma can bite you ...
The two versions of the facts, on video
And I say two versions because it is difficult to know what really happened, although the truth is probably in the middle between what one says and the other:
Well, from this video, the positions are totally opposed. On the one hand there are people who line up with the owner of the cafeteria because they think that there are parents who could do much more so that their children do not disturb others and on the other there are those who take the mother's side, because the girl is actually 21 months old and at that age it is practically impossible to make him understand that in a public place you have to try ... not to cry.
Yesterday, in the Washington Post, the mother explained the facts in detail. According to her they wanted to have breakfast there Saturday because the husband had done it several times ago. They were spending a few days there and it was raining, so when they were told that what they had asked for would take half an hour they considered it good.
There were many people inside and when they finally found a table they sat waiting. 21 month old girl and waiting sitting are two concepts that do not usually marry well, so the impatience began to make a dent in the girl who started her groans. It was not crying, nor tantrum, says the mother, the restaurant was very noisy, nobody seemed to be upset and they chose to keep waiting (he says that if they had seen that bothered, they would have left, even though it was raining).
When breakfast finally arrived the girl didn't want to eat anymore. He kept complaining about being there, so the parents chose to have a quick breakfast and leave. They did not have time to finish, because the owner of the cafeteria decided that the girl had to shut up. He approached the table and told them to leave if he didn't shut up.
They decided to finish and try to calm the girl down and, from the bar, put her hands on the counter and shouted at the girl to shut up.
The father asked "Are you serious? Are you yelling at a girl?" And she responded with irony: "As serious as a heart attack."
Here is the original post by the mom and the response in the Marcy's diner controversy: pic.twitter.com/wWEPUqbIDs
- TVTEDDY (@TVTEDDY) July 20, 2015For its part, the owner explains that as they asked for pancakes, they would take them long but they chose to wait. Seeing that the girl was nervous, that she cried and that the mother could not calm her down, she told them that "either you go with your rotten daughter or you take the super important pancakes and you take them with you." But "Nooo, you just sat at the table and let your daughter keep screaming bothering my workers and my clients."
In the video he says that they asked for the three pancakes for the girl. It makes no sense, in any case it would be one for each. And he also says that after waiting and taking them away, the girl cried because her parents wouldn't let her eat (?).
What are we then?
Well, it's not the same as a girl being restless and upset and moving, and crying a little, and the parents try to calm her down (which seems to be what happened, because the owner herself says that seeing that the mother could not calm her down she acted) that she cries and shouts with a tantrum and that the people around her end up looking at her waiting for a reaction from the parents that does not arrive because they pass from the girl.
As we do not know what is really the closest version to reality it costs to make a trial. In any case, my opinion is that no, nobody has to shout at a 21-month-old girl who has been sitting at a table for more than half an hour, because in any case she is only the victim of an unfavorable situation.
Maybe the parents should have seen her getting nervous, maybe she didn't bother so much and that's why they stayed. What I do know is that if I screamed, if it bothered as much as the owner says, I could have talked to the parents in a more civilized way. A "I have to ask you to leave, because the girl is very nervous and people are starting to bother" may be considered rude, but at least they are not telling you to take your rotten daughter or screaming at her.
"Educate your children at home so that others don't have to educate them"
This phrase says that if at home you get your children to behave you will avoid dislikes like this. Now, I doubt that phrase speaks of a 21-month-old girl. It is too small to think about what environment it can and cannot do depending on what.
Another well-known phrase says that "to educate a child you need an entire tribe," which refers to it is not really the parents alone who have to educate the children, but all the members of a village, of a tribe. It is understood, of course, that these members are interested in helping all children to behave based on their customs and that they will function according to the premise of being able to understand children.
No, the owner of a cafeteria who insults a small girl and shouts at her is not a valid member of a tribe. Maybe the parents could have done something else if it really bothered, but the one who ended up paying the duck, as I said, is the little one, who was only in the wrong place at the least opportune moment.
