Recent parents or those who consider having a child may have many doubts about how to relate and communicate with your baby and, understanding it, to attend it correctly. We will address this issue in our maternity and paternity course.
A practical exercise to get started
Let's do, for starters, a simple practical exercise, ideal for parents who are looking for their first child. It is an enormous effort, but, after this process, there will be no one so little empathetic that he is not able to identify with his son's tantrum or with the baby's cries. I assure you that, although it seems hard and complicated, it will compensate you.
Let's sit in a chair or lie on the bed. We can't talk, we don't know. We can't get up or walk, we don't know. We can not go to the bathroom, we do not know when we have pee or poop, we wear diapers (we must wear diapers). Nor can we express ourselves through complex gestures. Let's spend a full day like this, depending absolutely on the care of our partner.
We have to try to explain if we are hungry, cold, boredom or discomfort without talking or getting up. We can only growl, cry, shout or groan to explain what we need. And, of course, hugging you very hard to explain that you need more love and more contact. There are no excuses. Let's think, all that day, what it would be like to try to communicate that way by adding the immaturity of the baby. There is no one to resist.
You have to ask your partner to continue washing your clothes, making food, cleaning the house, watching TV or talking on the phone. For the toughest I would propose to take a wheelchair and go for a walk, while the couple does the shopping or chat with the neighbors (although I know this is too much to ask).
One of the things to do is to wear diapers permanently, and have your partner clean and change you. And besides, eating only very small amounts of food every two to three hours, to understand how hunger or thirst are imperative in babies.
Use, in addition, to make it more complicated, clothes that squeeze the English, or heat the room excessively, or open the windows and uncover to be cold. With this you can get an idea of how physical discomforts can make the baby cry.
Once the first day has passed, change the papers. And then, if you are brave, do that one day you feel bad: problems at work, a fight with a friend, a gut or ear ache. Once this is done, you will be much better prepared not to lose patience with your baby.
Then, Tell us in the comments of this article what you felt dumb and motionless, depending on another who does not understand what is happening to you.
Study and learning
It is clear, however, that this exercise does not replace the study and learning about the needs of babies, their sleep patterns or their needs for food, contact, stimulation or affection. This topic should be an almost mandatory subject before becoming a parent.
In Babies and more We have recommended many parenting books that are sure to help you be prepared and better understand your babies.
With this I do not mean that being parents should be something that experts teach us, in fact, many times you have to be very careful with the advice of experts, because not everyone will be focused on the needs of the baby and go to give us guidelines that are not adequate.
Connect with instinct
Being a mother and father is something that It is printed in our genes. We are the descendants of thousands of generations of humans who knew how to move their young in very hostile and dangerous environments.
We are daughters of good birthers, breastfeeding and caregivers. We are children of good parents, responsible, protective and caring teachers. Our instinct, intact, would guide us, to know what babies need.
Our ancestors cradled their children, slept them in their chest, accompanied and protected them. But sometimes our instinct is asleep, lethargic and deceived by cultural customs or fashions that disconnect us from babies. It is simply a matter of emotional contact with our instinct and mental openness towards the baby who will naturally tell us what he needs: hugs, accompanied sleep, breastfeeding on demand, many pampering and not being alone.
However, as I was saying, knowing never goes far. There are many books on anthropology, biology and parenting that can help us understand something very simple: our children are mammals dependent on us and what they are going to ask us is permanent closeness to feel happy and to be able to tell us, with their means, what in each occasion they need.
Connecting with the ancestors and with our children will be the best teachings, but reading and learning will help you overcome doubts and possible negative effects of bad advice and disconnection from our maternity and paternity instincts. If something pretends this maternity and paternity course It is to help us connect with ourselves.
