When our children are adults we want that are able to think for themselves, make their own decisions responsibly, assess the information they receive, assert their opinions with respect, set limits on possible abuses of authority, react to doubts and problems, choose their own lives and do so from security.
Learning to think freely and critically is not achieved, by magic, to reach the age of majority, is a process that begins in childhood and of which parents are the main guarantors. To help you accompany them in this growth we offer these three tips to teach your children to think.
Trust your son
That does not mean that we neglect our fundamental role of educators and caregivers. The maximum responsibility for the safety and well-being of our children in ours and we must make many decisions for them while they are small.
Nor does it mean that we let them assess all the risks because, especially in early childhood, they lack the necessary information to do so.
Children are very observant and also build their own image, with what we transmit to them. If we trust them they will feel much more trained and more responsible. Showing them that we expect them to act wisely, intelligently and consciously, we will help them to do so, because, in addition, children want to please us. Simply trust them, they are very capable, insurance.
Listen to your opinions and wishes
Babies often know very well what they want it to be, after all, what they need, because they are still pure instinct. However, as they grow and develop the consciousness of the self, they will be able to decide.
This will not always be possible, especially when what they ask is dangerous to their physical or emotional integrity. Or when they express an impossible desire to fulfill or that we consider inappropriate at that time.
But there will be many things in which we will be able to count on them, listen to their opinion and their wishes, taking them seriously and valuing them as important for their development. We may or may not agree to what they request or consider that their opinion is adequate at a certain time, listening to them is essential. That way we will negotiate and show them how to negotiate.
To the count on them and ask for their opinion We do not yield authority, but we gain it, showing ourselves respectful to them as individuals and giving them courage.
Being able to express their opinions freely will be an extraordinary teaching for them, a training for their irreplaceable future life.
Give explanations and ask him to explain himself
As far as possible and adapting to the child's age and maturation it is convenient that let's open a dialogue in which the opinions and wishes of the child and the decisions we make, especially if they are not what he expected, justify them with a rational and serene explanation. Give explanations and allow the child to explain.
This will teach the child that he deserves to be taken into account and receive answers that are not a simple order. They will not always understand the explanations and they will not always please them, but the simple act of giving them helps them organize their thinking, know how to value themselves and structure their own arguments.
In parallel we should let them express themselves freely stating the reasons for their proposals, which, perhaps at the beginning is complicated by a handling of language in training or a normal and healthy child impulsiveness, but that will improve over time, laying the foundations of a relationship of mutual trust.
When we are willing to listen to our children and to give them our explanations we will build a mutual trust, to the point that, when it is necessary to deny something and it is not the moment to explain or the child cannot still understand, he will accept that this concrete decision must accept it because he knows with certainty that we are trustworthy and we look after your interests, not our whims or conventions.
Let him try and fail
Sometimes the idea or proposal of our son may not seem too good to us, but, if he is not in danger, it is convenient to let him try to carry it out, because nothing teaches more than to propose a challenge and fight to achieve it. Let him try and let him fail without penalizing it.
There will be times when we will be surprised and it will turn out that he was right, a situation that we must recognize and convey our enthusiasm, and even that we were in error. Other times it won't work well, but he will learn from your mistakeWell, that is how we human beings learn and we will welcome their learning with pride and affection, never reproaching them for having made a mistake or for not obeying us without complaining.
Don't hurt him emotionally or yell at him
No human relationship is conflict free. The problem is not the conflicts, but the way to solve them and face them. In this whole process in which our son learns to think for himself and make his decisions Our attitude is essential for you to gain security and think freely and calmly. Fear of our reaction, insults, teasing, blackmail or screaming are not a good strategy, they emotionally harm and prevent you from thinking lucidly. Doesn't the same thing happen to you?
I hope these three tips to teach our children to think and to make decisions help you build a healthy relationship and allow children to develop their capacity for reasoning and exercising freedom on a firm basis.
In Babies and more | Proposals to change Education: value critical thinking, Proposals to change Education: ideas to foster critical thinking
