His name is Heather McManamy, he is 35 years old, lives in Wisconsin and has been fighting breast cancer for two years that he has failed to overcome. The last news he had about it is that the cancer was in phase IV and that it has spread to the bones and liver.
He has a 4-year-old daughter, Brianna, and this terrible diagnosis means that as a mother she will not be able to celebrate her birthdays, she will not be able to be present when she graduates, when she marries, when she has a child, nor in the most everyday events, such as Say goodbye on the bus the day you go on a trip with the school, prepare your backpack when you go swimming, have breakfast in the morning, or tell a story or talk about boys in your teens.
She may not be, but she has decided to continue being part of her life in some way and that is why he has written dozens of letters so much for the most important moments of his life, as for others less transcendental, so that his daughter always keeps in mind how much her mother loves him.
Letters for a lifetime
As they explain in Yahoo Parenting, he was 33 years old and his daughter 2 when he learned he had cancer. During these two years he has tried to overcome it, but there has come a point where there is no possible treatment:
It is heartbreaking to know that my family is going to be sad and going through a painful loss without being to comfort them. Some days this is the hardest part of all this.
And thinking about his daughter, he decided start writing letters for her, so you have one for virtually every moment of your life:
Tell me the moment, that I will have a letter for her. Some have a lot written inside and others are simply short and sweet messages. Like I would write it if I were here. He has letters for his birthdays, for his graduation, for his wedding day, for when he has his first baby and for everything that happens in between. He has even for when he has a bad day and when he wants to kick everything.
Apparently he bought cards to write a few months ago, but it took a while to start writing them because it was very difficult. As difficult as to write the first you have to have assumed that you will not be there in the future.
Once I started, it brought so much comfort and peace to my mind that I have overcome those difficulties. I hope you feel my unconditional love for her and that I know that I am still with her. That I can feel how proud I will be of her in the big days and my hugs in the difficult ones. And that I know that I love her with all my heart forever and ever, no matter what happens.
"If you don't read them, nothing happens"
Despite the effort, Heather says that if reading those letters will make her daughter too sad, nothing will happen if she doesn't read them:
I do not expect you to do something in life that is not to find your happiness. There are no conditions for these things. If Bri never opens a letter or watches a video, for me perfect. I trust Jeff will do the right thing for her in this regard. If it's not right, it won't be given. Maybe the right time is one or two weeks after your birthday. Maybe it never will be. Whatever they do, it will be fine.
In this sense, I understand that she does not want to force her husband and daughter at all, but I am sure that no matter how sad she feels, no matter how much she misses her, will want to read each and every one of the letters and not one, but a thousand times.
"This should also be done by other mothers"
Heather says that after commenting to several friends what he is doing, many have told him that they wish they had letters or videos from their parents to hold on to them, to those memories:
Every day, the fact that I am going to die is before me. Most people have the luxury of ignoring this fact. But here is the crux of the matter, some might leave even before me. In just a few minutes you can do something like this that will give your loved ones an incredible amount of comfort. So why not do it?
Have you hugged your children today? Have you told them how much you love them?
The story of Heather, Jeff and Brianna is a sad story, full of emotions. I've wanted to talk about her because it's something that happens often and because turning your back on these things will not stop them from happening. Cancer does not know about fathers, mothers, children, families or love. And that's why he has no consideration.
The job of those who suffer is to deal with it as good as they can and find solutions like that of this mother so that, somehow, our children always remember them. It is the least, considering that they will be lost watching their children grow.
So, as most of us are lucky enough to not know when we will leave, it may not be necessary to start writing letters as if it were to happen, but to tell them how much we love them what if hug them every day and tell them how important they are to us.
This is the lesson with which, at least I, I am left with this story so hard to read and so hard to tell (that I have also skipped tears as I wrote it to you).
