Surely on more than one occasion you have heard or said this phrase, which should be a universal commandment that no law of nature or disease could violate: "No father should bury his son". And eye, that the phrase refers to the father and mother, in generic, but imagine how much it can hurt if we refer to the mother; the person who managed it, who gave birth to it and who, in most cases, took care of it for longer in the first months.
It is about a mother and her son that we are talking about today. And I don't lie to you when I tell you that I am writing with tears in my eyes, with a lump in my throat and with that damn feeling of seeing tremendously unfair events and, not only not understanding what can happen, but also realizing that you cannot Do nothing: the story of a mother who decided to make public the last conversation with her son, two months after dying because of cancer.
The story of Nolan and Ruth
As we read in The World, Nolan Scully He died on February 1, with only four years of age, after a long fight against cancer. Even before the tragic end her mother had decided to put a grain of sand for the fight against the disease, and in her eagerness to make it known and call for citizen collaboration, she decided to share part of her suffering so that everyone knew what can become cancer in children. He started writing in a blog and then even decided to share some images of his son.
On April 5, two months after Nolan's death, he finally managed to relate and share what had been the last conversation between the two. His crudeness, the hardness of the moment, and the innocence and purity of a precious child before saying goodbye, has made the writing has gone viral.
Two months. Two months since I had you in my arms, I heard how much you loved me, I kissed those lips 'Sweetie pie'. Two months since we snuggle. Two months of absolute hell.
On February 1 we sat down with his team of doctors. When his oncologist spoke, I saw the pain in his eyes. She had always been honest and had fought with us all the time, but her CT scan showed large tumors that grew by crushing the bronchial tubes and the heart. Rhabdomyosarcoma had spread like wildfire. He explained that the cancer was no longer treatable, because it had become resistant to all the treatment options we had tried and that the plan would be to keep him comfortable while deteriorating rapidly.
It was the meeting at which Ruth learned that There was nothing to do. In fact, it was the same day Nolan died, hours later. There was no possible treatment and everything happened so that the child was at his best in his last moments.
After leaving the room, he went to the room with him. I was in "mom's red chair" watching YouTube videos on her tablet.
I sat with him and put my head against his and had the following conversation:
I: It hurts to breathe, isn't it?
Nolan: Buuuuueno ... yes.
I: You have a lot of pain?
Nolan: (Looking down) Yes.
I: This cancer issue disgusts. You don't have to fight anymore.
Nolan: I don't have to fight anymore? (With happiness) But I will do it for you, mom!
I: Do not! Is that what you are doing? Do you fight for mom?
Nolan: Okay, yes.
I: Nolan Ray, what is mom's job?
Nolan: Keep me safe! (With a big smile).
I: Honey ... I can't do that here anymore. The only way I can keep you safe is in heaven. (My heart shattered).
Nolan: Then, I will go to heaven and play until you arrive! Will you come, right?
I: Of course! You can't get rid of mom so easily!
Nolan: Thanks Mom! I'll go play with Hunter, Brylee and Henry!
They no longer separated
That was his last conversation. In the following hours they did not separate, and dedicated themselves to play and enjoy together. She wanted to take him home. It was no longer necessary to be in the hospital. But the boy refused to "make sure everything was easier for me."
They were playing, watching videos on the tablet, shooting with the Nerf gun, smiling and enjoying together. Then they lay down and Nolan explained to his mother, Ruth, how he wanted his funeral to be, who was to wear his coffin, and even wrote how he wanted to be remembered: like a cop (I dreamed of being part of the police force).
They say that sick people usually wait to be alone to die. So when Ruth went to the bathroom for a moment, Nolan relaxed, stopped fighting and closed his eyes. When she returned, her mother still heard her arrive, and she explains: "She opened her eyes, smiled and said 'I love you mom'". Then he turned his head, closed his eyes for the last time and left, while she sang 'You are my sunshine'.
The carpet boy
I was surprised to read his story because these two photos had already seen them not long ago. On that occasion I saw the images, cursed silently and followed something else. Now I realize that it is the same child, Nolan, and that Ruth is the woman who decided to share that the one on the floor, the boy on the carpet, was his sick son, who needed her so much, lived his absence so fearfully, who accompanied her while showering and, with a cushion, snuggled on the sink rug to wait for her.
"Now it is I who am afraid of the shower. With nothing but an empty carpet where once there was once a beautiful and perfect little boy waiting for his mother."
More resources for research
Ruth's final intention is to try to repeat what she has experienced as few times as possible. That more research be done, that more treatments be tested, and that the phrase I wrote at the beginning is finally fulfilled, that no father and mother have to bury their child for cancer.
Therefore, as I did on another occasion, when I spoke of a similar case, also heartbreaking, I leave you with some of the entities with which you can collaborate here in Spain.
We have the possibility to do it with the organization Children against cancer, who even offer the possibility of participating in a teaming campaign (each person donates 1 euro per month for the cause, so that with little, many people participating, you can achieve big things). We also have the Pablo Ugarte Association, where donations can also be made for childhood cancer research. And we have the great project of the Sant Joan de Déu Hospital in Barcelona, which is raising funds to create a hospital only for children with cancer, where they can receive treatment and where they also investigate to move forward in the fight against this terrible disease.
