Sadness, feeling of incapacity, crying, total tiredness ... These are some of the symptoms of postpartum depression, something that affects many, many, women. To that we must add the feeling of guilt that appears, forming an undesirable cocktail. We tell you what postpartum depression really is and What can we do to fight it.
There are several types, of different severity
On one side is the mild postpartum depression (or postnatal dysphoria), which usually occurs in many cases but often does not even talk about it. This usually appears between the first days / weeks after delivery and its usual duration is about four weeks (I speak in general, there are cases and cases, of course, and the duration is variable).
Among the symptoms we find sadness, tiredness, irritability, some anxiety, crying, insecurity, etc. How do we approach it? In general, as the hormones are "locating" and we are getting to the new situation (finding little time for us, adapting to the changes, seeing that "we do not do as badly as we expected" ...) we will find ourselves better. Of course, always, always, it is necessary to have both emotional and purely logistical support to not worsen the picture.
On the other hand we have the postpartum major depression, which is really what we colloquially and socially understand as postpartum depression, is a bit more serious than the previous one. I will talk about it in more detail later.
And finally we have the postpartum psychosis, the most complicated of the three. Among the symptoms, in addition to those of major postpartum depression that we will see next, postpartum psychosis is characterized by hallucinations, attempts to self-harm or hurt the baby, feeling of “being crazy”, state of confusion and / or extreme changes in the state of mind.
Both in the case of major postpartum depression and in postpartum psychosis (especially in the latter), treatment with a professional is required. If you have the slightest doubt go to your doctor or trusted specialist and tell your case.
In Spain it is estimated that 22% of women suffer from postpartum depression.
A recent study carried out in Spain by the Suavinex brand, concludes that 90% of mothers claim to have some of the symptoms of postpartum depression after giving birth, which is a negligible figure. On the other hand, following the Suavinex study, only 17% of women with postpartum depression receive psychological or psychiatric treatment.
The causes? A single cause has not been determined, but a combination of factors including hormones, the change of role, personality, environment, etc.
What are the symptoms of postpartum depression?
The postpartum depression is complex and the symptoms may vary from one woman to another. However, among the most frequent symptoms (they do not necessarily have to occur all at the same time) we find:
- Do not feel bonding with the baby.
- Loss of pleasure: those things that were pleasant to us before we don't like them anymore.
- Uncontrollable sadness and crying.
- Feeling of excessive guilt.
- Excessive increase or significant decrease in food intake compared to the usual pattern of women.
- Nervousness most of the time.
- Be afraid of being alone with the baby.
- Difficulty falling asleep and / or sleeping (within what the baby's demands allow, of course) or quite the opposite, sleeping excessively.
- Not having interest in the baby, friends, the couple, the family, that is, social isolation.
- Think about harming yourself or the baby.
- Feeling of having "very fast thoughts" that cannot be controlled or stopped.
- Changes in mood: feeling very bad or very angry.
- Feeling of inadequacy: they feel that they will not be / that they are not good mothers for their children.
- Ideas of regret about being a mother.
I have postpartum depression, what do I do?
Postpartum major depression is successfully addressed through the psychological therapy (cognitive-behavioral) in most cases, as recognized by the APA (American Psychological Association, highest body in this regard). However, there are situations, as I mentioned before, in which the picture is complicated and the use of medication may be necessary, for which it is necessary to go to a psychiatrist. In Spain, through Social Security, the first step is to go to our GP or discuss it in the review with the gynecologist to refer us to mental health.
In therapy you work, for example, increasing daily rewarding activities, organizing the day, reinforcing the self esteem... all this through concrete techniques and a little effort on the part of the patient. Of course, the effort is worth it.
Motherhood, especially the first few days, makes all our attention and energies focus on our son, sometimes leading us to give up on ourselves. This change of role, this agenda absolutely full of responsibilities makes our list of priorities "Do things for me" down many positions, giving way to "pure and hard obligations."
The key: take care of ourselves (and take care of us), delegate, ask for help when we can't, have a support network or take time for ourselves (a few minutes a day at the beginning is enough) are fundamental aspects to deal with depression.
It is for this (and for more things) that couple support It is essential in these moments (of the couple or of a relevant figure for us).
You should also know that you are not alone, that you are not the only one who feels this way: you are not a bad mother or a bad person.
How to act if my partner seems to have postpartum depression?
- Be careful what we say. It is very common that women in these cases hear that of But you should be very happy with your child!, that we are told to "try to be better" ... The point is that it is not something that is directly controlled, something that women can change, say at will. It's about something that requires effort and work, and not just mom. These types of comments are totally counterproductive, since what they do is add pressure and guilt, factors that do not help at all.
- Listen without prosecution: Being able to communicate openly, expressing how they feel or what their fears are fundamental at the moment. However, if, before your statements, we prosecute, criticize or express total disagreement or incompression, it is most likely that there will be a withdrawal and stop talking about it. With this I am not saying that we have to agree with what he tells us, but we must try empathize and show our support and love so that they feel they can express themselves freely (which reduces discomfort).
- Emotional and logistic support: As we have seen one of the variables that affect postpartum depression is the lack of support network for both baby care and housework, etc. It is very possible that she feels overwhelmed, so it is convenient that we take care of what is needed, thus allowing her to have some little time for herself, free of burdens and care. Let's be your support, for whatever you need.
Postpartum depression is much more frequent than we imagine, and it can have terrible effects for both the mother and the baby and the couple. Facing the situation, seeking support and help is key. The good news is that it has a solution. If in doubt, consult your specialist, do not miss it.
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