In these weeks before Christmas, it is common to find Santa Claus in shopping centers ready to receive the thousands of children who will come to tell him how they have behaved, tell him about the gifts they would like to receive and take a picture as a souvenir of his visit.
This has now become a tradition that many children look forward to, but some others, not so much. If your child is one of those children that he prefers not to sit on Santa's skirt or doesn't even want to approach him, you shouldn't force him to do it. I tell you why.
When the visit to Santa Claus is not what you expected
If, like me, you are a mom or dad who believes and loves the magic of the Christmas season, it is likely that it makes you excited that your son also likes and naturally, Going to visit Santa Claus is a beautiful tradition that you want to live by your side.
So you prepare everything, you tell him with emotion of that gentleman with a white beard who they will visit and who can tell you about the good things he made and the gifts he hopes to receive on Christmas morning. Your child is excited and can no longer wait. But when you get there, things change.
For some reason, your child no longer wishes to sit on Santa's legs or perhaps does not even want to approach to take a picture with him. What do you do? Probably the first thing we do as parents is explain to them - as in many other situations - that there is nothing to fear and that we will be next to them all the time.
If your son felt a little insecure about being something new and unknown, he may agree to do so and in the end the visit to Santa Claus becomes an experience full of enthusiasm for him and very pleasant for both of them. But if your child does not want, it is best not to force him.
My experience
I tell you what happened to my daughter and me last week. We went to a well-known department store in Mexico, where every year they set up a space where Santa Claus is sitting accompanied by a couple of pixies that are his assistants. Children can arrive and do the typical tradition: tell them how they behaved, take a picture, and also have a space for children to color Christmas drawings while they wait.
Upon arrival, my daughter reached to see them and said pointing to where they were: "Mom, Santa Claus!"With much joy and excitement. Naturally, we went first with them to come to greet them, but when we were a couple of meters away, it stopped. I asked him what was happening and he said nothing, he simply shook his head in denial and hid behind my leg.
I explained that there was nothing to fear, that it was only about Santa Claus and that we could approach together to greet him. Half convinced, he took a couple of steps, but seeing that he began to greet her, he stopped again. Then one of the pixies approached to give her a Christmas hat and she accepted it a little fearfully but did not want to get any closer, so We chose to continue with our purchases and keep the output as a positive experience for my daughter.
Why shouldn't we force them
On this occasion and as in many others, I decided to leave the choice of approaching or not Santa Claus in the hands of my daughter, because at the end of the day, it was not me, but she who would talk to him or take the picture with him . The main thing to keep in mind when situations like these occur is the following question: Would I like to be forced to do something that I don't feel comfortable or safe with?
Surely most agree that the answer is a resounding "no." Of course, as parents there are many things that our children must learn to do and it is our job to teach them the reasons why they should do it. But when it comes to something like sitting on Santa’s skirt, the decision must be in them.
A while ago I told you that I did not force my daughter to give kisses or hugs if she did not want to, and the reasons why I had made that decision. Some of them match the reasons why we shouldn't force children to sit on Santa’s skirt:
- Because since children, they must have the ability to understand that when they say "no", other people must respect it.
- Why No one should force any child to have physical contact without their consent, even if it's just to pose next to someone for a picture.
- Because children must learn from an early age that they have the capacity to make decisions.
- Why we must respect their feelings and emotions.
- Because in reality, if you don't approach Santa, it won't be the end of the world. But if we force him to do so, yes we can create in him a bad memory of an experience for which perhaps he was not ready.
But why doesn't my son want to sit with Santa?
In most cases, children who do not want to approach, it is because they are afraid of Santa Claus. This usually occurs with babies and children under three years old, who they are afraid of strangers and it is a normal part of their development.
A while ago we shared in a publication the real reason why Santa did not want children to see him, accompanied by several photographs where we saw Babies and children who burst into tears as they approached that nice gentleman with a white beard.
As parents, our job is to accompany our children and help them overcome their fears in a respectful way, listening to them and being empathic with them. This is a process that will happen progressively and at the rhythm of each child.
So if this year our son did not want to sit on Santa’s skirt or approach the Magi, let's not worry and let it pass. There will already be other opportunities to do it or we can look for other scenarios to have some Christmas photography of our children.
