THE 'EMPEROR CHILD SYNDROME' DOES NOT EXIST, BECAUSE THERE ARE NO TYRANT CHILDREN

With the name of 'emperor child syndrome' usually defined children and adolescents who manipulate or dominate their parents. This term includes children who are intolerant of a "no", who are not able to put themselves in the shoes of another person, or express and manage their emotions.

But nevertheless, Tania Garcia, expert in respectful education, family advisor, writer and founder of Edurespeta, international school for parents and professionals who want to educate with respect, ensures that "there are no tyrant children, there are children" , and that it is necessary to end these labels to achieve a more respectful and happy upbringing.

Get out tags!

"You should never label children, much less look for problems where there are none."

"This 'emperor child syndrome' does not exist, it is a huge mistake that echoes and confuses parents greatly separating them, even more if possible, from their children".
"We continue to live in an adult society in which only adult thinking and perspective matters and prevails, in which the vision of the child and his emotional needs are not taken into account, and therefore, is not taken into account. tell what you need to have good brain health. "

In Babies and more Childhood labels: why we should never label children "To say that children are tyrants only demonstrates how far we are from the real emotional needs of children."

This is how blunt the educator is when asked about this phenomenon that is usually talked about. And he adds that the character of our children depends on the education received:

"They are what they see, and the example they get. They are purely emotional. Approximately during the first seven years of life, children's brains are based on emotions. Then they learn and develop the rational area, but gradually, little by little. And it depends on the accompaniment you have, on how you are treated, that these foundations are well placed to have less or less consistency. "
 

But children face their parents, they have lollipops ...

Tania García is clear about it:

"Being emotional, children get angry, frustrated, scream, throw kicks into the air ... is THE NORMAL. The important thing is what is done afterwards, when we see that they express their emotions. To begin, we must let them express them: the more we restrict them and prevent them from having their own voice, the more frustration and anger we will generate within them. Children have become people, not puppets. "
"And, if we see that they have some aggressive behavior, such as hitting another child or their own parents, self-assault, biting ..., we must stop them very calmly, empathy and understanding, with patience, tranquility and without judgments. So, day after day without losing your cool and will integrate that this is not the right thing to communicate or show your frustrations. "
 

And he adds that:

"Parents should not fear such behaviors at an early age because it is natural, to feel an emotion, to want something that cannot be done at that time and need to express it. When we repress emotions, it is when they become confused and leave, in other stages, in a way more aggressive. If the emotion is expressed in a way that can harm someone or himself, it must be stopped but without violence. We cannot teach them not to be aggressive by being aggressive with us. It is incoherent. "
 

Are there reasons that explain aggressive behavior?

"Children do not take the lead, or challenge, or tease, or challenge, or fight, or are tyrants. They are people who have the right to live their lives, have their own opinions and say what they want and what they do not ", explains the family advisor.

"It is curious how we spend their childhood and adolescence repressing their emotions and without giving them the possibility to decide, but then we want adults to be people who make decisions according to their interests, full of objectives and good work, and this is impossible if they never let you decide before your 18th birthday. "

The education expert says it is important listen and meet the demands of our children and value their interests. "If these cannot be carried out for a compelling reason, we must communicate it calmly and empathically and understanding, of course, that they will get angry."

Therefore, for boys and girls don't integrate emotional blackmail As a correct way to communicate, Tania points out that:

"The first thing to do is not to blackmail them. If the relationship with our children is based on shouting, punishment, blackmail, threats, rewards, manipulations, control ... because that integrates as an optimal way to communicate, both with others and with their own parents. "
"When we don't let the children be themselves or express themselves, they live in cages, they feel in their own homes as if it were a jail."

Then, the educator ensures that there are two options:

That the aggressiveness is still small or teenage, or even adults.
That they become submissive beings for life and that, therefore, in their adult life it is difficult to put limits on toxic people, make decisions or who do not know how to say no.

And it ends by ensuring that:

"He who treats his children well, as his developing brain really needs, will never have 'tyrant children.'"

In Babies and moreEducation with respect is key to ensure that children are not aggressive

Can we reeducate them?

Tania García affirms that the only ones to be re-educated are the parents, the mothers and all the professionals who are in contact with the children.

"The problems and conflicts will be reduced, leaving only those strictly necessary, those that cannot be avoided with good treatment from parents to children. How? With unconditional love (on good occasions and on those that are not so good), empathy, tolerance, patience, respect, listening, attention, time, accompaniment of emotions, connection, support ... What children never need, at all, are labels, or criticism: only guidance. "

Children have the right to get angry and express it. The important thing is always, the emotional support provided:

"If a child hits another of his class and is punished, labeled, judged, criticized or ignored, this child will only accumulate more anger and sadness and he won't get any tools to not do it next time. "
"But if we listen to both parties, show interest and calm, we help them find solutions, we do not devote ourselves to judge or criticize and treat them as someone who has had a frustration and has managed it violently, with all the understanding and the respect he deserves, we will mark a before and after in his life and in his emotions. He will feel understood instead of judged even if his act has been incorrect. "

Therefore, the respectful education expert is clear that:

> "If a family considers that they have always treated their children with respect and accompanied their emotions, without reprimands or inhibitions, and suddenly believes that they are aggressive, nervous or irritable, they should observe their surroundings." >>

"There may have been some change in your life that may have affected you: the death of a loved one, problems with classmates or teachers, academic stress, bullying, change of school or cycle, birth of a brother…. Once again , what you need is more support and good manners. "
 

Conclusion

"Children do not take the lead, nor challenge, nor challenge, nor are they tyrants ... They are people who have the right to live their lives, to have their own opinions and to say what they want and what they don't, to get angry and express it in a primitive way, without control, since they are emotion in their purest essence. The important thing is the accompaniment of their parents, that they maintain their role of respecting, loving and understanding. And remember that the more irritable your child is, the more he needs you * ".