If I started to list all the things that mothers do and think during the day, I would probably end up with a very long list (if I finish it). There are so many things, pending, priorities and responsibilities that we have, that sometimes, we can leave some things for later.
One of those things can be our appearance when we are mothers, that although we do not stop taking care of ourselves, our perception of it can change according to our new lifestyle. This happened to a mother, who She decided to respond when someone noticed that she had neglected herself after having children.
Amy Weatherly is a Texas blogger mom who has three children and recently shared a post on her Facebook account in which she recounts the meeting she had with a friend she had not seen for a long time. Y although he was glad to meet his friend again, a comment he said left her thinking.
As a joke, she told him: "I can't believe I'm seeing you in public without makeup and in sneakers. Who are you now?"Amy's first reaction was to laugh, because I used to be one of those girls who only wore high shoes and fashionable clothes, never went outside without accessories and makeup. But things were different now and he just laughed and replied: "Yes, something in the third baby made me neglect".
In Babies and more, how does our way of dressing change after becoming mothers?But after saying goodbye, Amy kept thinking and then felt very discouraged by what she had said she had neglected. He knew that things had changed after having children, but he wondered if he had actually neglected. And she decided that it was not so, sharing her emotional response to her friend and herself in the following publication.
"I am more confident about myself now. Now I am less likely to suffer from a pimple or lose a way out because I have dirty hair. I'm less likely to get depressed if someone doesn't like me or fill me with insecurity because they didn't invite me to that party", says Amy."The truth is, I liked it a lot now, definitely more than before. I wouldn't be the pretty hair girl again, not even for all the cowboys and coffees in the world".
He continued to wonder why we continued using that phrase about neglecting, to show that many adult mothers and women were no longer the same as before, simply because they no longer looked so well-groomed or followed fashion trends.
"If we step back and keep our mouths full of judgments closed, we will probably find that these women have not been neglected at all. We will probably discover that they have actually found and appreciated and loved themselves, and have realized who they are as people has absolutely nothing to do with wearing false eyelashes or hair dye or huge earrings (which I still love, for true), but with absolutely everything related to your heart, your mind and your soul"continues Amy.
Comment that maybe, Now those women have realized that they are comfortable just being themselves in their essence without needing anything else, loving his family, giving himself to his children, enjoying his friends, helping others and staying optimistic despite the adversities. And he says that we should all applaud them, because each one of them goes on their way to their freedom, as it is.
In Babies and more Before and after being a mother: how the value of things changesAnd as a reminder, she asks that when any woman, mother or not, feels bad because she no longer looks the same as years ago, think the following:
You have not neglected. Stop telling you that. It's rude. It is derogatory and absurd. You have not neglected, you just left that need to look perfect all the time. You have simply left things that were not important and changed them, leaving a lasting legacy. You have left things that last little, for what will last generations and generations.
Put on makeup when you can, fix your hair when you have time, consent, take care of yourself, invest in a new outfit without feeling bad about it. Just don't let those outer things define you. No longer. They are not you. They are things, and that is the big difference between them. You are more than a pretty face.
You are a mom. You are a wife. You are a sister You are a lover. You are a fighter. You are a warrior. You are a daughter You are a student. You are a teacher. You are a dreamer. You are a maker. You are generous You are a believer. You are you, and that can never be taken away.
If you feel identified, you are not alone
Amy's publication has made many mothers feel identified, because although it is true that being a mother does not mean forgetting oneself, many things change after the arrival of the children. Time is reduced, priorities change and we value things very differently than we used to do after being mothers.
In my experience, practicality and comfort have become a priority and take control of almost everythingWell, I'm looking for a way to achieve as many things as possible in the day, which often requires me to walk with sneakers, zero makeup and hair in a bun I made in three seconds.
This does not mean that we neglect or do not care. If we can manage and get prettier, excellent, but if we don't have time (or desire) to do it, that's fine too. Self-love is not reduced to what we wear. To love ourselves is to accept and love ourselves for who we are.
So like Amy, don't feel anymore if you don't look like you used to. Maybe outside it is not so noticeable, but inside, I assure you that you have grown a lot as a person and have obtained great lessons about life and about yourself after being a mother.
