Nowadays it is common to see companies and initiatives that promote the elimination of gender stereotypes that prevailed for a long time. From clothing brands that are committed to launching gender-neutral clothing, to toy catalogs that break with these sexist stereotypes.
However, remember that from home we can and must work to prevent our children from acquiring stereotypes, educating them to be empathetic, kind, respectful and inclusive people.
A father highlights the damage that a sexist or sexist way of thinking can do and defends his five-year-old son, after he suffered bullying by his classmates at school for painting his nails.
Aaron Gouveia is a father who works in public relations and also frequently shares his day to day with his three children, talking about his experience with fatherhood through his Daddy Files blog.
In Babies and more They laugh at him at school for painting his nails and his father shows him his support by painting them tooHis middle child, named Sam and five years old, is a child like anyone, full of innocence and curiosity, who loves to play and have fun. Sam loves his grandmother, who worked as a manicurist, to paint his fingernails. It has become something special between them and that he thinks is something cute and fun.
For a long time, Sam took the painted nails to his school without any problem. But recently and as Aaron shares in his Twitter account, Sam lived a terrible day, because this time his teammates made fun of him for wearing painted nails.
According to the thread published by Aaron in which he narrates what happened, Sam received teasing and nicknames from his companions throughout the day, even of those he considered his friends, who ridiculed him for being a boy and wearing painted nails.
In Babies and more The 21 sexist phrases that children listen to (and reproduce) from an early age, and that we should avoidAlthough Sam asked his classmates to stop, they only made things worse and the bullying he suffered from them lasted all day. Apparently, only one partner defended him but it didn't help much and the moment his mother arrived to pick him up, the little boy couldn't take it anymore and broke into tears in her arms.
Then Aaron decided to address the issue of that sexist mentality that had hurt his son so much, but not before noticing how annoying he was:
This is my son, Sam. He's 5. And today I learned how shitty and harmful #ToxicMasculinity is. My rage meter is spiking right now so excuse me if this is a little raw but there are some things I want to say about BS #gender norms (a thread) pic.twitter.com/NtoE2VHKsU
- Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
This is my son, Sam. He is 5 years old. And today he learned how shit and harmful toxic masculinity is. My anger meter is at the top, so excuse me if this is a bit crude but there are some things I would like to say about the crap that gender norms are.
Then Aaron proceeds to describe a little about Sam's personality, they mention that he is a boy who likes rough activities, likes to shout, jump and run, enjoys getting dirty and playing sports. And also, he likes to do things that are still classified as "girl stuff", such as painting his nails or carrying a purse.
Proceed to count how happy and proud Sam was that morning for wearing red-painted nailsWell, in addition to the fact that he has never seen it as something that was only for girls, he had no reason to think that anyone would be bothered by the fact that he had his decorated nails.
Then what we said happened: he received bullying from his classmates and after his mother picked him up, he phoned him and in between sobs he told his father that "he wanted his nails to get rid of, so that his companions would not make fun of him again".
My son is far from perfect but he's got a huge heart and empathy for miles. He finds beauty in everything around him and for 5 years he's never been afraid to be different because different has never meant “bad.” Until now.
- Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
My son is far from perfect, but he has a big heart and empathy. He finds beauty in everything around him, and for five years he has never felt fear of being different because being different has never meant something "bad." Until now.
And then Aaron remembers something extremely important: children learn by example and imitate the behavior of the adults around them. That kind of sexist thoughts do not arise naturally or alone in children:
"I know these guys are only in preschool, but this toxic masculinity crap is LEARNED. Most learned by their parents. So parents, I hope you are proud. I guess this is what they expected. I hope you are satisfied. I hope that today you can sleep well knowing that the order has been partially restored and that gender norms have solidified for a small child, whose only infraction was the audacity to like nails painted in bright colors"continues Aaron.
Share that at home they have worked for five years to teach Sam about tolerance, inclusion and the importance of expressing himself freely, something Sam's classmates destroyed in a single day. However, this is not something that will change things and of course they would not allow it.
He tells that He talked to Sam and explained that all those boys were just jealous, and even told him that the next day he could wear an even brighter color on his nails and even told him that many boys wore painted nails, like some superheroes and players that Sam admires. But most importantly: he said that it didn't matter what others did, because what you wear and how you look at yourself should make you look good to YOUAaron continues.
After much thought, in the end Sam chose to leave his nails as they were, because he likes them and because they make him feel good. In a show of solidarity, his 10-year-old brother also painted his nails, which prompted Aaron to paint his nails himself.
That moved me to paint MY nails. Sam picked out this color called “Main Squeeze” & I think it's understated but lovely. Sam is sticking with red because “it's pretty and good luck for the @patriots.” #ItsOnlyWeirdIfItDoesntWork pic.twitter.com/KtuwldiEJw
- Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) October 23, 2018
"Be brave and shine bright, my beautiful son with painted nails. And keep in mind that mom and dad will always support you even if the rest of the world has a problem with your nails"concludes Aaron.
Aaron's post has been shared more than 67,000 times and has received thousands of comments applauding the reaction and response to the situation. Some parents even shared that their children, who play sports and like to get dirty, they also like to wear painted nails or dance ballet or play with dolls.
In Babies and more, dolls are also a child's thing: playing with them causes them to develop empathyThe images in support of little Sam were not lacking, in which other parents showed their children's hands with painted fingernails, and even some parents painted theirs as a way to support him and say goodbye to those absurd stereotypes.
We might think that this is not the case, but advertising, our behavior and the sexist way in which we express ourselves condition children much more than we believe. Children are not born with that kind of thoughts or gender stereotypes.
Let them enjoy and be children, educating them in love, respect, empathy, understanding and inclusion, far from stereotypes that only limit them and make them feel bad.
