In Babies and more we often talk about Eduard PunsetWell, he is one of the people who is most defending good treatment, attachment and love as emblems in relationships between parents and children.
Thanks to the research he is following in his program of scientific dissemination "Networks" we know that it is not good to let children cry, that the best way they have to grow emotionally stable is to offer them unconditional love and that (they have been saying it for some time and now redial it again) the first six years of life are vital in the life of a person.
A few days ago a chapter of his program entitled "Learning to be parents" (which you can see at the end of this text) was issued. In the video that heads this post Punset makes a quick summary of the conclusions drawn from the interview he had with Jay Belsky, a psychologist at the University of London and one of the world's best specialists in family psychology. In just two minutes Punset offers a message that seems to have an overwhelming logic but, when going against the system, is being discarded or ignored.
The message I am referring to is that children need close people who give them attachment, security, love and are a valid example to grow with confidence and with a good dose of self-esteem that allows them to face the vicissitudes of life daily with a very high head.
To make these claims, it is based on a study carried out with 1,467 people between 62 and 72 years old who in 1939, during the Second World War, were transferred from cities to rural areas where they were welcomed by families that lived there (nothing less than three million children separated from their families to avoid the bombing).
These children "they had, on average, a life of adults much more full of uncertainties, violence, sufferings, ... that the average of the young people who were able to remain calm in their homes, in the big cities ", says Punset.
These conclusions are extrapolated to the current crisis situation, where many mothers are working to move their families forward (although I would say that this situation has been so long before the crisis in all developed countries), leaving their children in the care from third parties (family or nursery).
It is not that going to daycare is a bad or negative thing. There they take care of them, watch them, change them, feed them, stimulate them and play with them. It is clear that nothing bad will happen to them, however it is better for a child to be there where he can receive everything that his emotional brain needs (not only man needs physical needs), and this place is usually close to mom and dad.
We have to start seeing the children as if it were a mortar that needs docile, kind and careful hands to mold it. The sweeter these hands are, the closer and more comprehensive they are with the irregularities that the mortar may cause, the better the final result.
Some countries are clear about this (countries more advanced than we are, of course) and are managing social services to be able to give mothers a longer maternity leave, with a true reconciliation between work and family and with a more affective conception of parenting than The one we have here.
Punset talks about it at the end of the video at recommend that governments change the way they work If what they want is to offer children the best possible care.
In fact, and there is nothing more to look for in Google: "nursery place" to see it, the current system is completely insufficient since to date there are more children without the possibility of entering a daycare center than children with a place (remember that the current goal of the government is to achieve in 2010 that 33% of children up to 3 years have the possibility of entering a daycare center).
Things have to change a lot and I am glad that Mr. Punset echoes it publicly: Children deserve to grow up with their parents to become adults with a life as full, balanced and pleasant as possible.
