One of the reasons why mothers are recommended to feed their babies with breast milk is the creation of a emotional bond between the mother and her baby that makes the mother "fall in love with her baby" and vice versa.
Breastfeeding is a hug, it is skin-to-skin contact, it is smelling like mom, it is generating oxytocin (the love hormone) in the mother's brain and producing it in the breast and it is both generating oxytocin in the baby's brain and swallow it while drinking breast milk.
When taking milk with the bottle Many children and many mothers are losing that contact and all that hormonal chemistry making the link between the two develop in a weaker way and the relationship is more "distant."
However, it is not something that cannot be remedied or alleviated, basically, because children do not have to miss that contact.
Leaving aside the reasons why a mother offers the bottle instead of the breast, giving the bottle should be more than just "give milk because it's your turn to eat."
Many moms delegate this function to third parties (dad, grandmother, etc.) to lend them a hand and this means they lose a wonderful contact with their baby, others give them the bottle themselves, holding the bottle with one hand while they perform another task with the other or even often, when the baby is able to do it safely, they leave the bottle at his side, so that he sucks it alone.
Ideally, in spite of feeding a baby with a bottle, the act of receiving food was considered, as it is with babies fed with breast milk, as an intimate moment, of contact, of caresses and looks, to share that time together and allow the bond between the baby and the mother to strengthen.
Here are some ideas so that the moment of giving the bottle is the most pleasant for both of us and so that the relationship between the two is more emotional:
• Give the bottle as if you were breastfeeding: take him in his arms, sit down, relax, look him in the eye, talk to him, caress him, mimic him, not breastfeeding does not have to mean separating him from the mother to eat.
• Give the bottle: Children need to bond strongly with one person (one and not two), who is usually the mother. This person is usually called, technically speaking, the main attachment figure, and is the one who gives security, tranquility, love and affection when the baby needs it (something like the person they are looking for when they are in trouble or afraid).
When that link exists and the relationship with your primary caregiver (usually your mother) is healthy and stable, the baby is able to have satisfactory relationships with other people (dad, grandparents, etc.). In other words, you need to blindly trust your mother to get along with others.
For this reason it is better to take advantage of the moment of feeding him to be with him and strengthen the bond and that the rest help with other things.
• Embrace each other in skin-to-skin contact: breastfeeding means contacting the baby directly, however with the bottle you lose that human and mammalian contact. In some outlet you can take off your clothes and allow your bodies to be hugging by contacting each other, giving them warmth and smelling each other.
Finally I want to comment on the two images that I used for the post. In the first one I wanted to show you what should not be done, if it can be avoided, by giving the bottle to a baby. As you can see, a dad (who seems bored) waits for his baby, who looks the other way, to finish the bottle.
There is no contact of any kind, neither bodily, nor visual, ... it is not even mom who gives it to her ... (that if one day dad gives it to her, it is not the catastrophe either, but as I say, the link what is most important to create and strengthen, a priori, is the one established between the baby and his main attachment figure, that is, the mother).
In the second image there is no longer father or mother. The act becomes a self service and the baby is missing some wonderful cuddles, beautiful caresses and loving arms that hug him while he eats.
Photos | Flickr (Inferis), Flickr (foundphotoslj)
In Babies and more | Videos on how to strengthen the bond with the baby, The absence of the mother's bond with her own baby, "The emotional bond with the child to be born." How to connect with the baby
