In my first year as editor at Babies and more, I shared a list of seven purposes as a mother for 2017. In the next one, I made an end-of-the-year count, in which I analyzed how I had gone with them, to know how many I had fulfilled and in which I needed to continue working.
Now, on the eve of the beginning of my third year, I would like to return to the theme of the New Year's resolutions from my role as a mother, but I have decided to turn it over and after reflecting a bit, I have concluded that they will not be several, but only one. I share you my only purpose as a mother for next year: to be happy and enjoy my motherhood.
Why only one purpose?
Like millions of people around the world, every year I usually take a look back and make a thoughtful analysis of everything my year brought. And also, like all those people, I think about those things that I would like to change and improve.
So under the pretext that one year ends and another begins, we take that date to mark the beginning of those new goals and purposes, same that we usually list with enthusiasm and that conviction full of motivation that brings us the illusion of the coming year.
In Babies and more The lesson my daughter gave me this holiday: life is more enjoyable when you learn to let go and relaxBut as time goes by, they forget us or we focus only on one and aside from the others, or simply and simply, they were unrealistic purposes from the beginning. With this I'm not saying we stop having New Year's resolutions, but maybe we should give them another approach.
In my case, as a mother, I know that some of those purposes were not easy to fulfill, and also, that trying to make absolutely everyone work would be something that, let's be honest, wouldn't happen.
So for this next year (and probably also for those who follow), I decided that it would only have one purpose, but it should be one in which I could really work and that was within the limits of what my life, situation and abilities could fulfill.
My New Year's purpose as a mother
My only and "little" purpose as a mom for next year, and in which I have started working for a few weeks, is simply: be happy and enjoy my motherhood. At first glance it might seem a bit generalist and nothing challenging, right? But I don't see it that way.
You see, if there is something that characterizes mothers in general, in addition to the immeasurable love we feel for our children, It's the famous, heavy and mostly hateful, fault. It seems to be born at the same time as our children (or even before) and that accompanies us for many years, if not a lifetime.
The fault is that burden that appears when you have to make a decision that is directly or indirectly related to your children and your role as a mother. The blame it is present in our motherhood in different ways and in the different stages of our life as mothers
In Babies and more Mother's fault: free yourself from that burden once and for allAnd that fault, I think, It becomes an obstacle to be really happy and enjoy all the wonders that motherhood gives us. But in addition to being an obstacle to happiness, that guilt can become something more dangerous if we let it fly freely, transforming into bitterness, apathy, anxiety and even depression.
But, Why do we feel guilty mothers? On previous occasions I have talked about this, particularly when I told you about not feeling guilty for wishing time alone for us, something that is very necessary and important when we are moms and that we sometimes neglect to address other issues.
So, returning to my purpose for this year: being happy and enjoying my motherhood, I have decided that from having decided that this would be my goal for the next months (and the rest of my life), and I will blame a kiss on the cheek and say goodbye with a smile.
I know it won't be easy, because guilt is something that sometimes even if we don't want to feel we do it, but I think it's possible and very healthy to do it. I want to start being happy with who I am, what I do and what I have.
I want stop aspiring to be perfect or fall within that "good mother" label that society sometimes imposes on us as a way to measure our performance as moms. Let's make it clear at once: there are no perfect mothers, and that being a good mother according to someone else's standards is nonsense.
In Babies and more Letter to me before being a mother: everything will be fine I'm going to start enjoying my motherhood judging me less, stopping pressuring me for accomplishing this or that thing, and focus better on analyze how I feel with my life, with the things I do and what I can change to be happier.
From now on that will be for me the line to follow: does it make me happy? Great. Don't I feel happy or is it too much pressure? I leave it or see how to make it work for me, without blame, pressure and feelings of inadequacy that prevent me from enjoying the present moment.
Probably my purpose as a mother for next year It does not work for everyone, but I would love that if you wish, you would give yourself the opportunity to try. We must be happy, enjoy our motherhood and feel satisfied, because we are doing things right.
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