He stress It is one of the massive diseases of the 21st century. Well, it is not a disease at all, since nobody says: "I am sick, I suffer stress", but it is a risk factor for many things in our body to fail.
He stress It is normally linked to a devilish pace of life, to overwork and responsibilities and that is why it is common to believe that babies and children are not stressed. They do not work, do not have responsibilities and are at home all day playing or caring for an adult, how were they going to stress?
As well, children also suffer stress because, although they are small, they also have problems (small for us, but big for them) and suffer experiences that make them alert or defensive.
The brain is not a muscle
When a person does repetitive and continuous exercise, their muscles become hypertrophied and grow in size, becoming stronger and stronger.
When a person wants to memorize something he achieves it with perseverance and perseverance, repeating what he wants to learn over and over again until he can retain it in his memory.
This exercise could be similar to the exercise of a person who does sports (repetitive, with perseverance and perseverance), to obtain a result (the muscles increase in size and are more prepared and the person who memorizes manages to retain something).
This is what makes many people think that children's brains are also like a muscle that needs hard work and perseverance to harden it.
These people often use phrases such as “they must learn that they will not have everything”, “nothing happens if they cry, they cannot get used to always being in their arms”, “they must learn to tolerate frustration” and defend a parenting style which causes children too small tensions and overflowing situations that generates too much stress.
In this way what is achieved ends up being often the opposite of what is being achieved. Instead of strengthening the character and maturing thanks to the small “setbacks” to which they are subjected, children tend to grow distrustful, with their alert systems too activated (If it has happened to me several times, it can happen again at any moment) and feeling strangely unassisted (not that they really are, but many have the feeling of losing somehow the good relationship with their parents).
The tonsil is the brain alarm
One of the most important discoveries in the structure of the brain is the existence and functioning of the amygdala.
It is the alarm system that elaborates the emotional sense of the things that happen to us. If a dangerous situation is triggered, the tonsil sends a signal to the hypothalamus, which is an endocrine gland (from the hormonal system), which will begin to secrete cortisol (stress hormone), to prepare the body for fight or flight.
If we later realize that this situation was not so dangerous, it is the rational brain that releases chemicals that act against stress, to relax and make us feel better.
If in childhood we help babies and children to intervene to control intense emotions, the infant brain will grow by making new connections based on those moments (called brain networks or descending paths) and children (and future adults) They will be better able to control their own emotions and manage the excess stress that daily life can give them.
If, on the other hand, children do not establish adequate stress regulation systems, their quality of life could be affected and they suffer from anxiety, depression, phobias, obsessions, emotional isolation, etc.
Comprehensive parents, but parents
That is why the ideal for a baby and a child is that their parents help them calm down from a position of understanding, calm and affection, but without losing the role of parents.
We will not always be there to get the chestnuts out of the fire, so our function is to help them learn to remove them themselves in the best possible way.
For this they must feel supported, understood and respected despite their mistakes and anger. It is very common to hear phrases such as "do not cry that is not so much" or "do not be angry, you have no reason." The reality is that the reasons to get angry and how it affects each person an event is something individual and non-transferable and the fact that we do not generate anxiety or stress does not mean that the same does not happen to others.
It is because of that we must take their anger seriously and help them name their emotions, we must act as parents, showing them how far they can go, with a lot of dialogue and a lot of empathy work (“if you take the toy away from that child, he gets angry because he is his and wants to play with him… you don't like having your children toys ”) and without loading our own emotions in our children avoiding behaviors driven by anger and“ soon ”rather than by our reasoning, basically, because it makes no sense that we want our son to control his emotions when we are not able to do so .
Photos | Flickr - Michael Headrick Photography, barekim, nateOne In Babies and more | The baby's brain: how to help its correct development (I) and (II), The baby's brain, Documentary: The baby's brain by Eduardo Punset (I), (II) and (III), Punset: Five tips for make a baby a capable and happy adult, Child stress could damage the brain
