Having children, in addition to being a wonderful experience that changes your life and transforms you into a new person, is also to start making many new and important decisions every day. One of these, particularly in the case of women working outside the home is decide whether to continue working or quit to take care of the children.
This is a decision that is not always easy and we will not know if it will work or be the best. In the case of the testimonies that I share with you today, it has been. We spoke with nine mothers who are happy to have quit their jobs and stay home with their children.
Quitting work after becoming a mother, yes or no?
We had previously shared the sincere testimonies of nine women who quit their jobs to devote themselves to their children, but later regretted having made that decision. Today, it's time to know the other side of the coin: mothers who are happy to have done it.
In Babies and more "I regret having stopped working when I became a mother": nine sincere testimonies of womenWe know that the decision to continue working or resigning to take care of children is one that depends on many circumstantial factors, such as the economic situation, as well as emotional factors, such as continuing or leaving a professional career.
Personally I consider that there is no answer that is "good" or "bad", but that each woman and each family, must decide based on these factors and look for what is best for everyone, both for the children and for the parents, whether resigning to be with the children, that is to continue working outside the home.
Leave a job, to devote to motherhood
Most of the women who kindly and sincerely shared their testimonies are women who they led an active working life and in which they felt happy. Some of them had jobs that demanded a lot of time, like Lucero, 29 years old and with a one-year-old daughter:
I have a degree in Law and the last job I had was in a transport company where I was the administrative manager. It was a super demanding job especially in time, sometimes I had to go even on Sundays for a while, but I really liked my job. I had many responsibilities and my boss trusted me to make decisions, manage bank accounts and manage what was necessary for the company, so I was interacting with many people. I really ended up tired, but I also liked to work, and they paid me very well.
Others, like Nora, 27, and mother of a child, they had jobs in which it was necessary to leave the city several times a week and that left them exhausted:
He was an assistant to a political consultant, we advised and created the image of the public figure. I ran a group of pollsters, I worked in the field drawing routes, it was a bit of everything: meetings, meals, traveling around the state. I felt alive, I loved not always having to be locked up, having staff in charge, driving, traveling, being able to promote a brand and / or figure.
For many of them, the decision to quit their jobs after becoming mothers was something they had already thought about even before becoming pregnant. Like Edna, 32, and the mother of a four-year-old girl and a two-year-old boy, whose motherhood came to him just when he was just in the shift from one job to another:
At the time I was waiting to enter a new job I felt very bad and after studies, we were pregnant. My husband and I had always talked about when the children came from the courtship, I would stay at home. The cost of childcare in the United States is too high and what I was going to generate in my part-time job was going to go completely to the care of the children. So we were always in that agreement, although it was not easy.
For others, like 32-year-old Karla and mother of three-year-old twins, giving up to take care of their children was not the original plan, but it arises when they realized that they no longer wanted to leave their children:
In my plans I was not giving up at all. I took my maternity leave in a timely manner, but once my babies were born and I was about to finish it, I couldn't leave them. I had no heart, I could not separate myself from those people so small and helpless. I couldn't leave them in charge of someone other than me. And I decided to quit my job after almost 6 years.
Y In some special cases, the decision to resign is made by necessity, and because it is the best for children. This is how it happened to Samantha, 40 and mother of a girl of five and a year and a half boy:
I am a Certified Public Accountant and since I was 18 I worked in that area. I like numbers, billing customers, payroll, checks to suppliers, balances. I thought I would never stop working. I worked until a Thursday and on Monday I had my daughter and I was going back, but my girl was born with a medical problem: cleft palate. The truth was more the depression that gave me that what had a problem because she was operated on at 9 months and it was a success. It was only the palate so he had no scar and speaks perfectly. But I felt guilty and she needed other special care and in the end I didn't want to go back to work. I returned and within two days I quit.
The transition to motherhood 24/7
Work or not away from home, becoming a mother implies a total transformation: from our body, to our routines, lifestyle and way of thinking. We realize that perhaps now some things do not seem so important to us and we decided to give priority to others.
It's not that we stop caring about continuing to learn or we're no longer interested in having a career in the professional world, simply at this time, now that our children are young, continuing to work is not the most important on our priority list. And that's when many of us decided to quit to stay by his side.
In Babies and more The message of a mother for those who think that moms who stay at home "don't work"Of course, the fact that we make the decision does not mean that changing a professional woman or a full-time mother is easy. One of the things is how lonely it can become to move from one role to another, as happens to Mariana, 29 years old and mother of a two-year-old children:
Although it was not difficult because I did not have a full-time job and I like being at home with my son, what I miss from working life is that fellowship that one has with his colleagues. Sometimes I miss talking with other adults without having to be aware of my son.
Sometimes, one of the most difficult things for some mothers is the opinion or criticism of other people, who do not understand why they decide to leave a career in which they were growing, as Lucero comments:
Perhaps one of the challenges I have faced is especially what others think, for example: they tell me what I studied for if I don't work, why not go to daycare, why I still give breast milk ... Anyway, they think about everything and sometimes if they make me feel a little sad, but they always came to the same conclusion: it is worth it for the moment to devote myself to her alone.
And is that It is currently very common or normal for both parents to work and mothers to return to work after finishing their maternity leave. Therefore, some people are surprised when women dedicated to their career decide to quit, but in reality, it is something that perhaps many would like.
A total and tiring change, but worth it
Just as at the time, other mothers honestly shared that they doubted the decision they made when they quit after having children, these mothers feel happy and satisfied with their decision. Although of course, as we know who we have children, the days sometimes become long.
For Cynthia, 32, and mother of a 2-year-old daughter, at the beginning it was very difficult for all the changes, although thanks to his daughter he has been able to adapt to the life of a full-time mom:
It was exhausting, abrupt and not easy at all. I did not know everything, feed him since I was delivered (he was born in a public hospital and I was alone until the next day), take strength from nothing, learn not to sleep. It was a very radical change for me, letting my social and professional life literally die, and focusing all my strength, my love and my priorities on my daughter. She is my teacher, my strength. When I felt that everyone was better than me, she injected me with batteries to make me feel lucky to have a healthy and beautiful daughter. It sounds difficult and it was. Especially since not planning my pregnancy was a radical and rapid change.
In the case of Maria, 29, and mother of two children aged seven and almost two, it was not only difficult to adapt to life with children, because as she continued working for a while, He didn't know his son so well, and there were some things at home that he didn't know how to do:
The transition was a bit harsh because I didn't know what to feed my son or what he liked, since for my work I saw him very little and also I always paid because they did all the housework, so I didn't I was used to it. My biggest challenge was to adapt to the needs in my home: make food, wash, take care of my son and also be with my husband, although I don't miss anything, since my job was very stressful and demanded a lot of time.
For Samantha, in addition to watching them grow, quitting their job It has allowed him to be at his side in difficult times or take care of them when they get sick:
It was definitely the best decision for me, since I enjoyed and suffered every stage of my children. For example, when they were sick and I had to take them to the hospital, I could stay without having to wait for permission or see the boss's long face. Also be the first to see every achievement and every cuteness they start doing. It was not in my plans to have children, they were late but very dear. And I think that if it took me so long to have them, the least I can do is give them the attention they deserve. I studied 18 years, I worked 18 years ... I can wait to do it again.
And definitely, one of the things that gives more satisfaction, is the share all those tender and unrepeatable moments that are lived next to young children, as Edna comments:
Now that I have the beautiful opportunity to stay at home to clean every glass of milk thrown away, to listen to every new word, to pick up my girl from school or watch them walk, I think that all the money in the world would not return those memories that I have Created with one or both of my children. As much as I like to leave home and feel independent or support my husband in the household expenses or just for the love of exercising, a thousand times I would choose to be home with my children.
If you are thinking of quitting after becoming a mother
Finally, the decision to continue working or quitting after having children is something that will be different for each woman. In the case of mothers who are happy to have done so, they share some advice for other mothers who are considering this option, with the intention that they can help them make the best decision.
In Babies and more 11 things that a mom who stays at home needs you to know For Mariana, think deeply and analyze it well It is key, because it is not easy, although the years in which they are small are few and pass quickly:
Let them think about it. I decided to do it because I was aware that my son was not going to be small all my life, that one day he will grow and do his things and he will let me do mine, that's why I wanted to stay and enjoy it. It is not easy because being with a baby or toddler all day is tired, but I have seen him grow and achieve many things and I feel it is worth it.
It is also important that when analyzing the decision, also think of an action plan that clarifies well what will happen and how they will do, which is exactly what Nora advises:
In my experience, having a plan is useful, being sure of what you want in the short, medium and long term, and externating everything to your partner and / or family. Without my partner and family I would not have succeeded
Cynthia, for example, advises that if they decide to quit, in addition to enjoying the children, let's not forget ourselves and avoid comparing our lives with those of others, because the goals are different for everyone:
It is important not to give up what we are passionate about and read about topics of our interest. But above all not to turn to see the achievements of friends, other moms or in general someone else to compare and make us less (unless it is to congratulate). Everyone has their own pace and achievements. For example, while my friend has a good job at a media agency, I managed to take my baby's diaper off in a few days and that is my last great achievement!
But without a doubt the most important thing is the advice given by Denys, 25 years old and with a 3 year old son, in which No matter what your decision, what matters is to do what makes you happy and be better for you and your family **:
I think the best advice I can give is that if they work outside or at home, they enjoy their children as long as possible and do not feel bad if they are left or stay with them, because we all live different situations.
Photos | iStock
