After some generations in which authoritarian education was shown as the prevailing model and after some years in which it seems that an education has reigned from the previous one, excessively permissive, many parents, with the help of their instincts and with the support of literature and some scientific evidence have decided to raise their children in a somewhat different way than usual known as natural parenting or attachment breeding.
Most of us who follow this trend (I include myself, because I think I follow its principles) defend the same things: we sleep with our children, our women breastfeed for a long time, we prefer to take the children close to the body and not so much in the strollers , we defend natural childbirth and try to avoid any type of punishment, whether physical or verbal, among other things.
We defend our way of raising as the best for babies, basically because it is the one we use (it would be absurd to say that we educate our children, by choice, in the way we believe it is not the best), but we understand what ways to raise A child there are hundreds and that each family must make their own choice.
We are known for our actions rather than our principles and for this reason I write this entry, motivated by other colleagues from other blogs, who once asked the same question: Is there a Natural Aging pack: natural birth, colecho, no vaccinations, portage, breastfeeding on demand, vegetarianism, etc?
Yes, the pack exists ...
I want all of you and you to offer us your answer to the question I ask, but since I can't keep quiet, I offer my answer to the debate and in another post I will explain everything in more detail.
Yes, the pack exists, or so I think. On some occasions I have read in forums to mothers saying "I want to practice natural parenting, but I do not know how", "I am trying to collect, but it does not come out", "I think I will not be well received, because I am giving the bottle to my son , since I could not breastfeed as I wanted ”and similar things that show that there are mothers who think that raising with attachment to their child means checking all the boxes in the list that you can see above as an image.
I am not natural-practicing-parenting
You know what my parenting philosophy is and my way of seeing things as a father and you know that I could mark several of the boxes on the list, however the concept of the pack is wrong, while excluding and somewhat pedantic. I am not natural-practicing-parenting in the sense of the label. That is to say, I do follow the principles by which this type of upbringing is governed, but it is not something that I go around saying: "No, it is that I practice natural upbringing", as if it were a method, because at the moment that is understood as a method is transformed into something that is done to achieve an objective.
The one who carries out a method is looking for a result and if as it is executed it is observed that the results are not favorable, the method is doubted or changed by another, because the methods respond to some objectives and the objectives, over time , must be evaluated.
That's why I say that I don't practice anything or mark boxes anywhere, that's why I don't tell people “hey, you could do natural upbringing, that you are doing well either” or “try to crianzanaturalize, that your children will be better ”and that’s why I think People who talk about parenting with attachment as a pack, as a method, are wrong. Things have to be done because you think they have to be that way, not to get something.
Are there really people who talk about a “pack”?
Well yes and some readers of this blog have commented on some occasions explaining anecdotes of mothers who have told them things like “Do you not collect? Then you are not mine ”,“ If you give a bottle you cannot say that you are a natural child ”or“ If you give him the vaccines you are not respecting your son ”.
Comments of this kind help those who really struggle to offer the world a vision of parenting in which the child is not evil, is not a tyrant, is not a controller or an opponent of the parents but a person in formation who wants and requires the contact and affection of parents to learn from them what the world is like in which they live. I repeat: with them and not against them.
I say that they help little for a simple reason, natural upbringing is not a series of items that must be marked to be part, they are not requirements that one must meet to be part of a club. Natural breeding is to fulfill a premise, only one. A single list formed by a single line composed of a single word: Respect.
Natural upbringing is respect and nothing more
The axis of natural upbringing is respect, because natural upbringing is just that: Respect children and their needs, their freedoms and ours and accompany them on the way to choose how to live, but always teaching them to give back to the world the same respect they have had for them and showing them that others have the same right to be free.
From the list you see at the beginning of the entry, I would only be able to mark three or four of the lines in terms of compliance (although it would mark more in terms of philosophy) and there are mothers who deeply respect their children who would perhaps stay in two. There are even authoritarian or not at all respectful mothers capable of marking them all and that I would not consider a companion of fatigue (or with a common thought regarding parenting).
Therefore there should not be a pack that tells you what you practice or stop practicing but a very simple philosophy, based on respecting children and others in general.
Tomorrow we continue with this entry to offer the vision of natural upbringing in each of the points on the list.
