There are two weeks, only two weeks, for Christmas and for thousands of children in Spain and around the world to receive their first gifts. Some will receive more and others will receive less. Some will have more because in their homes they have more to spend and others will have less because the economy is as it is.
So far everything seems logical, however there are some children who will receive many things, regardless of whether their parents are doing well or not for a slightly different reason: that children can receive everything that we when we were children could not have.
There are not many parents with whom I have spoken on this subject because it is not a topic that is usually talked about (“And how much have you spent on your children?” It is not a plan to ask such a question…), but I have heard on some occasion to some parents deciding to give their children everything they want to differentiate their childhood from the one they had, probably with fewer gifts and wanting to have had more.
Give children everything they want?
Yes, I know it's a phrase that sounds bad. Anyone claims that children cannot be given everything they ask for and surely everyone agrees with it. I do not like to make such an affirmation, although I share it in essence, because the “everything they ask for” of many children is different from the “everything they ask for” of mine, which usually settle for very little.
With this I come to refer that if it were the case that a child asked for Christmas socks and a book, I hope that the parents, not giving him everything he asks, would give him at least the book ... or give him both. , that by giving him everything he asks, nothing was going to happen, right?
But of course, children do not usually ask for books and socks, but dozens of toys that appear in the dozens of catalogs they have at home And of course, there is logical to decide to limit the matter, unless you want to give them everything you could not have, to make them happy.
What could we not have?
I am nobody to tell people how many gifts you have to buy for your children, although I can say what is always recommended: better little and good than much, to use it, take advantage of it, play with it and squeeze it and to prevent some toys from being relegated to oblivion within a few hours of being opened.
Okay, you will tell me, so I buy few and have the childhood that I had, that everyone in my class had more toys than me and it seemed that I had misbehaved. I will not let the same thing happen to my son.
And I will answer you, then, that you do what makes you feel better, but that you are clear that giving many toys to a child, not because he really needs them, but to prevent them from living the same as you is not doing things really thinking in your son but do them thinking of you, in healing your wounds as a child, in licking that scar that still hurts, that even today, when Christmas approaches, you remember.
And I will also add one thing: What really is that scar? Because many children, in the absence of spending time with our parents, we learned to measure happiness according to the amount of toys we had and to measure love in the amount of gifts they gave us (“have you seen how much I love you that I bought you what what did you want? ”they told us). However, happiness and love don't have to be that.
Santa Claus and the Magi do not exist to buy everything a child wants, but to make a gift from those he likes and teach the children that during that night, they will give gifts to all the children in the world (ahem) , teaching the value of sharing and being supportive (ahem again) and the happiness of giving something to someone you care about.
And they do it this way because they can't do it any other way (they are magicians, they only appear once a year and they don't want anyone to see them above), however we, the parents, can. Yes we can teach that the verb of love is "love", and not "buy" and that being happy does not depend on how much you have or how much they give you, but on being with the people who love you and make you feel good, happy and at ease.
I repeat, do what you think is convenient, but be clear (at least I have it) that what we lacked in childhood were not mountains of gifts, but a little more time with our parents, to be able to play with them with or without toys, to feel that we were the most important thing they had. That we lacked to a greater or lesser extent to many and now, when we think about giving them everything we didn't have we should put our effort into this, especially in this.
Toys? They are a tool to enable the game, very useful and very necessary, but the love and the happiness, I'm afraid they are something else.
