We have already walked the first days of the back to school and another one of the purposes that we have faced the new course, although it applies to any situation, and perhaps the most important, is communicate more and better with children.
Communication with children is one of the fundamental pillars of parenting. In order to understand and accompany them it is necessary to establish a relationship of trust, that they feel comfortable telling us their things, giving rise to dialogue, conversation. Communicating is not "I speak, you listen" but to establish a reciprocity thanks to which both parties get rich.
Positive communication
Often parents don't know how to talk to their children. Sometimes we provoke unwanted reactions in them because we have not known how to tell them things.
The positive communication It is based on treating our children as we like to be treated with respect, with affection, understanding, attending, and without punishment. No shouting or whipping are needed to show them authority. Rather it causes in them the effect of fear.
Getting up to it and seeing the world with the eyes of a child will allow us to understand them better and to be able to find together the solution to the conflicts that are presented to them day by day.
Relax, talk, explain, dialogue, reach agreements, let them make their own decisions, make mistakes if necessary. Sometimes giving in, sometimes making them give in.
To communicate positively is to stop saying so much that "no". Before a "no" the child becomes alert, defensive, and we cause frustration. Here are tantrums, tantrums, tantrums, etc. On the other hand, if we look for a way to say no without saying "no", we will get better results.
Yes to emotions, not to prejudices
In order for us to communicate effectively with our children and to better understand them, we must use clear and direct language.
Call things by name. Something that works very well is to teach them Name emotions. Many times they feel frustrated but do not know how to express it in words. Something may have happened to them at school that day and the boy gets mad at us when we haven't really had anything to do with it.
In such cases, so that there is effective communication and we can help you solve, assimilate or deal with what bothers you, the main thing is to name the emotion you feel at that time.
The same for parents. Being clear in expressing our feelings will make the child trust us and in turn express his own.
Another point that seems paramount to effective communication is that parents try get rid of all the baggage we can bring in our backpack (prejudices, beliefs, paradigms acquired by social, family, educational influence) to avoid burdening them with our own prejudices.
Therefore, it was labels, impositions, value judgments and comparisons. Listen to your child's needs without judging him. This does not imply that you do not set limits when necessary, the child needs those limits to grow safely.
Ask him every day how he did in school
If you didn't do it before, set it as a goal this new course. It's a way of show our interest in their day-to-day experiences. There are children who leave school and have everything with hairs and signs (Fulanito pushed him, Menganito told him such a thing), but there are children who do not share their experiences.
Therefore, without overwhelming them, because we can cause the opposite effect that they stop counting us as heavy, it is essential that Let’s ask them every day how they did in school.
Yes with him "How did it go today, honey?" It doesn't work, try other questions like "What have you eaten?", "Have you played with your friends?", "Have you painted?", "How did it go on the exam?", "Did you find that problem you had with your partner?", to give you some examples.
This daily communication is essential to detect if the child has a problem at school, both academically and with their classmates or teachers. At this point you have to be especially attentive, know how to listen to them and intervene if necessary.
No one knows your children better than you, so make sure they feel confident that they will be heard by their parents. That we are there for what they need, on their side, accompanying them no matter what.
As I said at the beginning purpose of communicating more and better with children it does not reduce only to the back to schoolIt's just a good opportunity to remember it. It is a maxim that we must always keep in mind in any situation. It is the basis of a happy upbringing.
