We already commented a few days ago, on the occasion of our interview with Vicki Bernadet, that 80 percent of sexual abuse of children is committed by acquaintances of the victim, who have easy access to it. In fact they are usually committed in places they frequent or even in their own home.
The psychiatrist Rolando Pomalima is director of the section dedicated to minors in the Institute of Mental Health "Honorio Delgado - Hideyo Noguchi" (Lima / Peru), has indicated that one in five girls, and approximately one in ten boys ( according to studies from different countries, it is between 10 and 15%), they are sexually assaulted before they turn sixteen. This specialist states that in almost 90% of cases the pedophile is male, and that one in four child molesters are teenagers.
It is clear to us that due to the proximity of the abusers, we must know how to make a global prevention with children, and not place our eyes only on the news about child pornography networks, or about pedophiles that relate to minors through the Internet . But neither we can forget that social networks can become ideal scenarios so that an adult (or big teenager) with bad intentions, grab the attention of children, and begin to establish emotional ties with them. I think that before these are facts, it is worth it that we work with the information in hand, knowing on the one hand to guide our children towards a healthy Internet consumption, and on the other by taking away irrational fears that lead us to the point of prohibiting our children from using the Internet as a means of communication, socialization, learning and fun.
In Peques and Más, we talk with a certain frequency about grooming, so more or less everyone will know that it includes sexual actions aimed at minors by (usually) an adult. But we thought maybe we could share information about "the way stalkers" reach their victims.
The more the victim is known, the more tools to gain their trust
With similar characteristics in one or other countries, the tricks and tricks to gain the confidence of a child or adolescents are almost endless. First, the groomer collects all possible information about his (his) victim (s), this information is usually visible in the profiles if the privacy options are not configured (or if they are configured but a groomer is accepted as a "friend"). Spending a little time, you get to know the opinions, physical image, tastes, etc. About anyone Once the first step has been taken, and with the aim of obtaining secondary (but very useful) information, the first contacts with the victim begin, and for this the groomer is always friendly and kind with his contacts.
The details about the life of the contacted child, narrow the fence, and the more the groomer knows, the easier it is to approach, once the trust is won, they dare to offer prizes or gifts in order to get compromising images for the child. After the first triumph, blackmail, extortion begins, victims are asked to dance or teach the bra in front of the web cam; the control becomes such that at times the bullies get the minors to masturbate or maintain relations with other children, thus increasing the visual material that accumulates.
Despite a situation that becomes asphyxiating, and from which it seems difficult to escape, silence is not a good way out, and believing that one can solve it alone is even worse (because it increases frustration), since a child has no capacity to solve serious problems, nor the experience to face them. On some occasion, grooming has ended the suicide of the child or adolescent, and although I know that the cases are counted, it is enough for me that a minor has taken his own life for this reason, as a reason for disseminate the necessary information that leads to the prevention or approach of the problem.
"Silence perpetuates the damage"as can be read in this article; and once in this spiral, neither the victim nor his relatives should maintain any contact with the aggressor. For this purpose, the contacts corresponding to the groomer must be blocked and the account must be deactivated or Child accounts Before, of course it is convenient to save evidence by storing the conversation history.
Dr. Pomalina clarifies that "The modus operandi in this medium is the creation of different profiles, with false names including a photograph, and pretending to be the same age as their potential victims. The accessibility to public accounts of social networks allows pedophiles to get more information about their possible victim, invite them to become friends and start exchanging messages, receiving proposals and reaching personal meetings. In turn, children often compete with each other to see who has as many contacts as possible, so it is essential to have access to the account and meet their friends. "
I think it is important that parents have access to the children's account, at least while they are young, remember that you can find children of seven, nine or eleven with their own profiles in one of the Social Networks
And as for the groomers, consider that it is not possible to establish a defined profile, except that 90 percent are men, they can be teenagers, the elderly or middle-aged people, nor is there homogeneity in their studies or profession.
But if there is something that characterizes everyone it is that They are usually present on several social networks, they also have their own forums where to talk about victims, give advice or share strategies. This seems to be taken out of a horror movie but it is true, and although we fantasize that our children are unlikely to become victims, it costs us little work to talk with them about how to get safe navigation, or help them with privacy settings of the accounts.
Always being clear that we can move towards a safer Internet with the participation of all, it is ultimately about making a healthy and responsible consumption of the platforms provided by the network, putting forward our privacy and respect for others.
Images | Lars Plougmann, Intel Free Press Via | INSM Lima, ABC In Peques and More | It is dangerous not to educate minors and not worry about what they do or do on the Internet. Pere Cervantes and Oliver Tauste
