After going through an experience as great as giving birth, not only important physical changes occur but also the emotional state of the mother after childbirth It is also altered.
How does the mother feel after giving birth? How do you see your baby and herself? Is the feeling of sadness after childbirth normal? We are going to explain these and other questions in order to understand each other (and understand us) better.
Probably the mother has formed an ideal image of what had to be the birth and the arrival of the baby, with high expectations of happiness, but rarely this idea coincides with what we really found.
Yes maternal feeling does not come as magic artIf at the beginning the woman does not feel happy with her baby, she should not feel guilty about it, since she is going through something that many mothers suffer each day and that is absolutely normal.
Maternal feeling sometimes develops more slowly and does not come with the first contact with the baby. It will be the routine of our treatment and coexistence with the new family member that makes us "see the light" and feel "real" mothers, linked to our baby.
There are physical effects of childbirth and the arrival of the baby such as insomnia, tiredness, lack of appetite or energy, which could also indicate a psychological problem (or that can affect us so physically that it moves to our mind, we cannot separate body and mind so radically).
It is essential the support and understanding of the couple at this time, because it is normal for women to feel discouraged during the first weeks after birth: it is the so-called "baby blues", "maternity blues" or mild postpartum depression.
Postpartum depression
When should we worry? If the signs of decay intensify or last beyond 30 days after delivery we could face a case of postpartum depression and then the woman needs specialized treatment, for which she has to go to the doctor or psychologist.
Postpartum depression It goes beyond the indications that we have commented previously, and women in addition to those usually suffer from crisis of anguish or spontaneous crying, thoughts and feelings of worthlessness, undervaluation or guilt. They also lose interest in almost all activities, including those related to the baby.
Mother insecurity
On the other hand, the woman usually feels insecure (especially if she is a first-time mother), she is afraid to be alone with the baby, she thinks she is not a good mother, that she will not take good care of the child when she is alone ... Anyway, feel a series of insecurities and fears which are very common and that fortunately disappear soon after. Returning home with the baby is usually an important moment in this regard, and we often wonder how to survive.
In this situation of instability, the responsibility of caring for the baby can become something that oppresses the mother, who perhaps for the first time has someone fragile in her care. That responsibility can be shared (at least in part) by the father.
One of the aspects that produce insecurity in the mother is something that does depend on her, the issue of Breastfeeding, will my milk go up? Will I be able to breastfeed? Will i have enough milk? Will the baby grab it? Will it hurt? Many are the questions that are posed to us, but with the support of the healthcare staff we can move forward and have a happy breastfeeding.
Remember also that in the promotion of breastfeeding the performance of non-health personnel is essential and the breastfeeding groups closest to us can help us.
The insecurity of recent moms sometimes also relates to their new appearance: it will take a while for the body to resemble the one we had before pregnancy, and that worries them. Probably lack of sleep and fatigue contribute to not seeing each other with our best appearance.
The support of the environment
Therefore, rest should be taken whenever possible, ask for help and accept it when we need it, and dad and family should be attentive to it. If possible, the mother has to find a time (even if minimal) for her care and well-being, to relax. That the mother's environment facilitates this and, above all, that she accompanies and listens to it, is important.
Other times, the environment does not help. In the hospital, you may want to be alone with the baby, do not disturb the visits, let you rest. Let family and friends know beforehand if you are clear, or let your partner or companion do so if after delivery you do not feel like it or the strength to see anyone.
Similarly, once at home, postpartum visits can be a nuisance or very useful. Plan them, ration them, manage them and finally, ask them to help you.
To avoid the risk of depression and mitigate insecurities it is important that the mother does not feel isolated, that she does not spend too much time alone, that she shares her feelings and doubts with her partner, family, friends and other groups of recent moms.
In short, the best advice is that the mother does not demand herself too much (and that she rejects the demands of others). After childbirth, the woman's emotional state is a whirlwind of new feelings but having realistic expectations, with tranquility, support and patience, soon we will be able to feel good with the baby and with ourselves.
Photos | Footloosiety and Thomas Beck Photo on Flickr-CC In Babies and more | Ten tips to survive after returning home with the baby, Most women suffer from postpartum disorders, what is quarantine?
