When one is surrounded by creatures at all times, the day comes when we forget that at some point in our lives we were only two, it is even possible that by making an effort we can remember that one day we were only one.
In that more or less happy time of our lives, pre-children gave us time, especially in that phase in which the biological clock starts ticking, when we look at the way of acting of other parents we have told ourselves for ourselves or commented with our partner about "I will never do that". This is a brief compilation of some of those things we said we would never do when we had children.
Our children are not going to behave like this in public
How many times we will have been in a restaurant, terrace or pool in which there are several adults with one or more children who do not stop running from one place to another, who jump everywhere without the greatest control. How many times we will have thought that, "my children are not going to behave like this" and how many times we have gone to a restaurant where food has been delayed longer than the account and our children have begun to behave as they really are , children.
I will not give them junk food
That is very good, in fact, the arrival of the first child is usually one of the reasons why we begin to worry about our food and theirs. The problem comes when they get a little older and we have to alternate park afternoons, baths, games, fights, order the room for the fifteenth time and when you realize it is nine o'clock on the clock, you have three days without time to go to the Buy and everything you have in the fridge that can be digested by a human stomach comes in cardboard boxes, and hopefully that.
I will never let my house be that messy
I will tell you a secret, children and disorder are symbiotic beings. Children need what we call disorder and they display the toy catalog in the pedestrian zone and the disorder needs children because it is with them when it reaches its maximum development (although there are scientists who question this claim in preference to adolescence ). Get the idea, if your house remains tidy more than 24 hours in a row it is because your children have stayed to sleep at the grandparents' house. Look on the bright side, if one day we go to war you are more than trained to walk over mined fields.
I don't plan to reach the sites at the last minute
Punctuality, that quality that so little abounds in human beings. I remember that I was one of those who arrived ten minutes earlier to the sites. Now if I get there it is because someone lied at the time.
And it is that you start preparing and the elder appears saying that he is hungry and wants a snack, it is the second one he eats and the sixth time you ask him if he wants something more to eat, but it is just when you open the shower faucet When hunger comes in You prepare a snack and since you are a little old dog, you prepare another one for the little one because of that I see ass, I want ass. You get in the shower and you have not had time to take the gel canister when two heads appear between the screen. "It's that we want to take a shower with you" And the 5-minute shower goes to 25. You start dressing and that looks like the backstage of a fashion show, everyone running back and forth in balls or smaller cloths, trying on now a shirt, then a pair of pants, this dad does not fit me, now I put the sweater inside out, mama pepito has taken my socks and is eating them -Return your brother's socks! - No, mine! - Ugh, we didn't arrive. Take others from the drawer. -I want those! -Well, those are soaked. -Well, I don't want another half an hour later, three tantrums and a pair of wet socks, you're 10 minutes late and you just got in the car. -Dad, I make piiiis.
We'll be lucky if we get to dessert.
No tv
Another good purpose and I know of people who have achieved it and everyone is still alive and sane. But it is that TV is very dangerous. One day you turn on the TV and as if by magic there is silence, your son is absorbed looking at the screen. Then you decide to take a shower, for the first time in months, for more than four minutes, lujazo. Then you gain confidence and use it to clean the house, prepare food, have a coherent conversation with an adult and when you realize you have them in front of the TV all afternoon. What a danger.
With the children there is no negotiation
I can tell you that our dinners have nothing to envy to the commercial transactions of the Grand Bazaar. Eat the chicken or there is no dessert. Three pieces no, at least half. Ok, six pieces and two tablespoons of peas. I said two. And so the days go by.
If I have to do that, I'm dying of shame
This is still the point that is costing me the most. I am very embarrassing and just thinking about singing I am a cup, a kettle in the middle of the park makes rivers of cold sweat fall down my back. Even so, there are things that still died of shame, I have come to do for my children and what I have left to do.
Come on, you won't have another place to pee
I have never cared where and when a child pees, but I have heard him comment to people. And is that when your child is in those days when you just removed the diaper, even a few months later, if your child says "daddy, I pee" you know that you have seconds to find where and that a child in those ages does not Do you understand that you can't stand until you find an area enabled for such a need?
The boy in his room from day one
Another very typical statement in some sectors or under certain parenting methods. And it must be said that sleeping with your child in the same room can have many inconveniences and rest becomes difficult until you get used to it. Because one gets used to everything, there is no doubt about that. What usually happens is that at the beginning the baby needs attention every four hours at most and of course, that of going to the baby's room, taking him out of the crib, taking out the tit or heating the bottle, staying awake and leaving everything back in his place to repeat it three hours later, ends up being the most tedious, so many times the cradle happens to share space with the marital bed.
I will never say "because I say so"
We agree, it is no victory, but there are times that there is no choice but to settle a discussion that threatens to lengthen during the rest of the afternoon between no, you can not watch TV and yes, yes I can. We are not always 100%, not every day we have the patience and the left hand that our children need. We could take it as a lesser evil, an exhaust valve that maintains the right pressure avoiding the outbreak and that everything ends up in something much worse, and that only a father knows how stubborn children can be.
