Two days ago we started a Decalogue of phrases that should not be said to a mother who bottles her baby (phrases 1 to 3 and phrases 4 to 6) and it seems that with six sentences the intention of grouping so many messages that these mothers get to receive is already quite clear.
To sum up a bit, it all basically lies in not say anything that you have not been asked, in being respectful and polite and giving your opinion, or entering the debate, if the situation gives rise to it because the mother is interested in your arguments. And not only that, but try to avoid saying things that are not absolute truths. To end the two entries today we offer the four remaining phrases.
Isn't it a bit selfish on your part?
The decision to breastfeed or not to do so is for the mother and the baby. Most of the time it is really from the mother, because if you ask the baby, he does not say yes or no, and the only times they decide is when there is no way to get him to take the breast well (for say something).
So, as it seems that the decision is only of the mother and that the baby would say yes to the breast, many people are trained to tell a mother what is appropriate or not in a mother-child relationship. Breastfeeding would be adequate and not giving it, it would be something inappropriate and selfish, because of that, "As you decide, you are thinking only of yourself".
But here are two types of decisions, the one that you make on the first day, or before, when you say that you are not going to breastfeed your baby and the one that makes the decision after many days of trying, without success and with much despair. Is the first selfish? You have made your own decision that concerns her and her baby. Shouldn't we respect that decision? Well yes, so all quiet people who have not asked us for an opinion. And the second, is it selfish for not continuing to insist? For the same, he has made the decision not to continue suffering from breastfeeding and is equally respectable and a solution that most mothers would criticize, because criticizing when everything goes on wheels is very easy, but when there are problems one can never say "of that water I will not drink".
How will you do to have a good bond?
When a baby is born it is recommended that he not be separated from his mother so that together they begin a bond, a relationship, which must be strong and lasting for the benefit of both. It has been seen that in case of separation, the bond is slightly affected and mothers who have separated from their babies tend to have less eye contact with your baby and to be less affectionate. But that does not mean that they are not affectionate or that they do not want their children madly. It is not even a conscious act. It is a consequence of separation.
Something similar happens with the breast and the bottle because the bottle is given less frequently, because there is not the same skin-to-skin contact and because many times it is not the mother who ends up feeding the baby, but the father, the grandmother, the little brother, ... then, every bottle that the mother doesn't give is a moment less than baby and mom spend together.
Now, does that mean they won't have a good bond? Does that mean they are going to have a bad bond? That they will not have a good relationship? Well logically and emphatically not. That only means that women who breastfeed have more opportunities to spend time in contact with their children and that it seems easier for them to get along, but one who gives a bottle can also look for other ways to spend time in contact with their baby: you can give him the bottle and then put it on skin with skin if you want, you can bathe with him, the two together, as if he had just been born and put it on his chest, you can spend the afternoon hugging him, you can ...
So the question is absurd, how will you do to have a good bond? Well loving him very much, which is the same as any breastfeeding mother does with her child when she no longer breastfeeds her.
But if artificial milk is full of chemicals that can be dangerous
Artificial milk is that, artificial milk. A product resulting from modifying cow's milk so that a baby can take it without it being harmful (as is cow's). Some things are added to some milks, to others other milks and the product should be the best possible for a contained price. I want to say that maybe the formulas could be even better, I don't know, but the production price could be much higher and the spending on the part of the families would be unsustainable (it's a personal hypothesis).
With all this I want to say yes, that artificial milk contains chemicals but constitutes the best alternative to breast milk. If a woman is unable to breastfeed her baby, or if she does not want to breastfeed, it is best to give her formula milk, no matter how processed she is and even if she comes from a laboratory.
Further, breast milk is not chemical free. In fact, it is filled with various substances that all people carry in our body as a result of living in relatively polluted places. However, despite this, everything must be said, breast milk is still better because the baby is going to acquire, anyway, those same contaminants through water, food and the environment. In other words, it is not that women's breast milk is contaminated, it is that we ourselves are contaminated, and a good way to know how much is by analyzing breast milk.
Well, children who drink artificial milk are always bad
Breast milk contains defenses, prebiotics and probiotics, among many other substances that allow babies to gain better protection after birth. Those who drink artificial milk lose much of that and consequently have a higher risk of infection, but again, as with the intelligence we discussed yesterday, you cannot say that the teat children will be healthy and the bottle children sick.
It is a matter of probability and, as always happens, you can meet children who drink healthy artificial milk such as oaks and breastfed children who do not leave one and take another. That is, it is true that those who take a bottle are more likely to take diseases and that they last longer, but it is not true that they are always bad.
And again, as we have said in the previous 9 sentences and where the heart of the matter lies: "Have I asked you if you think that by giving you a bottle you will have worse health? Have I asked for your opinion?"
Photos | Thinkstock
In Babies and more | Is it compulsory to collect and breastfeed for six years to educate children with respect? Mothers who cannot do more, How to be a passive witness to the failure of breastfeeding
