Human beings are empathic but this capacity can be fostered or canceled according to the way we are educated and treated since childhood. And we can also teach children about empathy, first, from the respect for their feelings and needs, but also with exercises and attitudes that reinforce this ability. Let's talk about empathy and I will give you four ideas to teach children empathy.
What is empathy?
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the place of another and understand what he feels or thinks without it being necessary to express it directly, making communication respectful to the other, understanding his experiences, emotions and opinions as the result of his unique situation.
The Royal Academy defines "Empathy" as the mental and affective identification of a subject with the mood of another. It is clear that being empathetic will make us improve our relationships with others, understand and help them, avoiding harmful judgments.
I have said that human beings are empathic, and in that they are currently identifying the investigations in neuroscience mechanisms that explain it: mirror neurons. These neurons are activated when a subject observes the action of a congener and they are defining the ability to understand the other. We can observe them in babies who yawn or smile when they see us do it and, when we grow up, it is understood that they help us identify the actions and emotions of others.
We know that babies cry simply by listening to another crying baby. And that happens because they imitate to synchronize emotionally with their surroundings. In addition, surely you will have noticed how your babies reflected your emotional situation even if you tried to hide: they were turned off if you are sad, nervous if you are worried, happy if you feel euphoria ... that is empathy.
Mothers develop a very intense empathy for their young children because it is necessary, of course, that they be able to understand them in order to take better care of them and this happens since pregnancy.
Even if you have pets, you will have been amazed how the dog especially distresses if you are sad and comes to see you if you are bad or crying. That is empathy.
The two-year-old children stop imitating unconsciously when they discover themselves as separate entities and show their concern for our feelings, wanting to help us feel better and even get excited if they see drawings that tell a sad story. The emotions of others are identified and identified.
Work your own empathy
Adults may become parents with our impaired empathy ability if we were not respected and heard when we were children, our feelings and needs were denied and we were denied comfort, acceptance or expressions of affection. Perhaps the first essential step for our children to be empathic is to solve our own emotional damage.
Be an example
Children learn from what we do, not from what we say needs to be done. And regarding empathy, something so emotional and experiential, this is doubly true. The example you give them It will make them assimilate that people are able to understand each other, put themselves in their shoes, be moved and share emotions without judgment. Your attitude and the way in which you speak to others and others is what they will understand as the right way to behave and will perceive how connections between people work. Care as you treat each other, adults, especially when there is a conflict or a difference of opinion.
Treat them with empathy
If, when we are children, instead of receiving acceptance, we are repressed or ignored, we will grow with the capacity for damaged self-esteem. Surely we realize this and understand that precisely being empathic with our children It is how we will best help them develop this capacity.
Understanding oneself is a process in which we must allow the child to express his needs and feelings. Understanding others is not possible if one does not understand oneself.
Children have needs and feelings that go beyond eating or having a dry diaper: they ask for physical contact, comfort, company, to be heard and valued, to express themselves. Although there are upbringing currents that point to him as a manipulator and a whims that must be mastered by falling for him to obey, this may not be the best idea to help him be empathic. If we do not understand them and we resist putting ourselves in their place, they cannot do so in the future.
If we listen to them, we take them into account, we treat them with respect, they will learn to develop their empathy by being treated with empathy.
Recognize and name emotions
To recognize in the other emotions and identify with them, not with their ideas, it is essential to know how to recognize their own. That is why the previous steps are very important, if the parents validate the child's emotions he will know that his emotions are valid and not deny them. By understanding your emotions you can recognize them in another.
From small we can help them express their emotions and name them, identifying them. "You are angry, you feel anger, you are happy, you have anxiety or fear ..."
Everyday situations give us many opportunities to work on the child's own emotions and to talk about emotions that come from other people's attitudes, always without judgment, just by recognizing. When the child identifies what he feels and what another is feeling, he can approach him, knowing what is going on in his heart.
There are times when the moment is inappropriate for the conversation, so we can then, when calm, talk about the subject quietly, asking, without pressing, to tell us how he felt or how he thinks the other felt. That way the kids develop empathy and it is easier for them to put themselves in the place of the other.
