Begoña Villacís, spokesman for Citizens in the Madrid City Council and surely the next candidate for mayor of this municipality for the Orange Party (although confirmation is still missing), has announced at a press conference that she is pregnant for the third time. She is 41 years old and is already the mother of two girls, 12 and 13 years old.
And then the question arose: Are they many years apart between pregnancies? Will the experiences for the mother be very different between one motherhood and another considering that age and experience are not the same? How would the older brother take it?
So we decided to interview other women who had gone through a similar case and we were surprised to see that Having a child ten years or more after his brother was born is more common than we think. In fact, we have not had to look beyond our closest environment. Three questions and six answers from different mothers.
Moms ten
Begoña Villacís assured that the new pregnancy "It makes me very excited and I live it with great joy". And he added that:
"I am full of energy, with a very good pregnancy ... This year will be interesting for me, and the opportunity to have a little one at home makes me feel very lucky, really."
She also recognizes that she is lucky to have a family and teammates who support her a lot, although she will spend a campaign "pretty busy". Although, he recalled that his two previous pregnancies have caught him working. "I have made compatible, like many women, maternity and work and I hope to do it again."
For Josefa, also a mother of a large family of Welcome (Badajoz) His experiences were not so rewarding. After the birth of their three oldest daughters, who have been with each other for two years, he had to wait 14 years to have Oscar in his arms. "Among them I suffered five abortions and the birth of another son who died in childbirth", Explain.
But still, Carmen's mother, Ana María, Toni and Óscar, acknowledge that waiting for "a very wanted and desired child"It was worth it.
And although he did not have the same vitality with the boy as with the girls (he was born when she was about to turn 44), the upbringing was not very hard, since "At home he lived with great enthusiasm and I had the help of my daughters."
And that illusion of which he speaks, is the same as the rest of the moms with whom we have spoken, although the energy is not the same, because of the difference in age between one child and another.
In Babies and more In Spain the average age to be a mother is 31.9 years, the highest in the EUDiana González, mother of Sonia and Raquel
Diana became pregnant with Sonia at the age of 19, and recognizes that her grandparents (and specifically her mother) helped her a lot in raising her.
"I was still studying at the University, so my mother came every day after leaving work to attend Sonia so that I could go to class in the afternoon, and on weekends, her father took care of almost everything, so that I could study. "
So she says that when she married again, after divorcing her first husband, and decided to have a baby, "I had already turned 40 and had my professional life well organized." Sonia was 17 the day her little sister was born.
What was it like to start over with a baby?
Ensures that "It was different from what I had imagined, because it made me very excited to dedicate all my time to my daughter, since unfortunately I had not been able to do it with the oldest."
However, he acknowledges that not everything was so idyllic:
"I felt very tired, with the girl all day hooked to my chest (I didn't give it to her most) and very lonely in my motherhood. Her father worked during the day and traveled, we lived far away from grandparents and our friends no longer had Small children".
But illusion and love can with everything:
"I loved watching my little girl while she slept next to me in bed, or how she looked at me while I was breastfeeding, or the tenderness with which her sister took her in her arms"What is it like to be a mother in such different stages of life?
"It is also very different", recognize.
"When my first daughter was born I was very young, inexperienced, and I listened to everything the elders told me. With the little girl, I was more mature, I could enjoy maternity leave and spend much more time, spend more time with she".
It also ensures that he became more involved in his education and day to day, as he grew:
"With Sonia it was her father who was in charge of looking for a nursery and we chose the public school that was closest to home. With Raquel, I went to different schools to find the adecado, because I already knew how I wanted her education to be."
He also explains that accompanying her to school daily gave her the opportunity to meet other mothers, make new friends, who were also younger, "So unintentionally, he rejuvenated."
How did the older sister take birth?
"Sonia has been and remains a second mother to Raquel", says his father. In fact, now that he already lives with his partner in another city, he is still aware of it:
"They talk every day, he asks about his friends, his studies, his problems ... and he comes to see her as soon as he has two days off from work, even if that means getting beaten up for miles."
Diana proudly says that:
"It is wonderful to know that if my little daughter has a problem, she has an adult confinaza to whom to go, even if they are not her parents. And it has always been this way: I remember that at 18, when all the kids think about their things, she I would take a ride in her chair with her friends and offered to stay for babysitting nights so I could go out with my husband for dinner alone. "
Ángeles, mother of Santiago and Ana
The situation of this mother of Vigo is very similar to that of Diana. She was also Santi's mother when she was 22 years old and it was with her second partner when they decided to go find a baby. And Ana was born, 18 years after her first birth.
What was it like to start over with a baby?
In his case, he acknowledges that the second pregnancy was a little harder and less exciting because he had a complicated pregnancy, with many pains, especially after the fifth month.
And hard also when Ana was born "Because you have your life organized in a way and you must change it again with the arrival of a baby."
Angels tells that he works in a hospital and that when his daughter was born Santi was 18, so "I was very independent and I already enjoyed the freedom to eat with my friends, for example."
The birth of the little girl, explains her mother, meant a total routine change: "From work to home and from home to work, because the caregiver left as soon as I arrived."
And that, as he acknowledges, "Both my husband and my son collaborated in their care when they were at home." But first of all it indicates that:
"Having a baby at home was a joy for everyone. Ana has always been fun and good, so the experience is very positive."What is it like to be a mother in such different stages of life?
"Very different", Angels explains. "The first time I was younger and the second more mature, but also with the older one I had more vitality and with the girl more patience." Recognize that:
"When you have your second child and also at an advanced age, you take things more calmly, you are more aware of what is important and what is not, and do not go to the emergency room with a heart in a fist every two by three. But you don't have the same energy to play with them either. "
How did the older brother take the birth?
Angels explains that when Santi learned that he was going to have a brother, he did not want to know anything about the subject but that as soon as Ana was born, he turned to her:
"She was constantly watching the little girl, she asked us to take care of her so that nothing happened, that we watched her well because she was very pretty and they could take her away from us ... and that with 18 years, when they tend to be more selfish by nature."
The proud mother explains that the two brothers have always taken a great time and "Santi has taken care of and takes care of Ana as if she were a third father. Even now that she lives outside, she comes to visit us whenever she can. It's a very nice relationship."
In Babies and more Being a mother at 40: the risks of pregnancy at an advanced ageCarmen Parra, mother of Carmen and Belén
Despite the difference in years, this mother explains that her little daughter was very wanted, because "We didn't want Carmen not to have a brother."
But finding the moment, says it was complicated because "We never saw the moment. My husband and I had two restaurants and we were up to work."
Even so, at age 35, ten years after the birth of her eldest daughter, Carmen decided to get pregnant and Belén was born.
What was it like to start over with a baby?
"It costs at the beginning, I will not deny it", but also recognizes that it was not so complicated afterwards, because "I already had an experience of porridge, vaccines, etc."
But the character of the two babies were very different, Carmen explains, so:
"In general it was easier when I was a first-time mother, because my little daughter was more restless, did not eat, did not sleep ... It was a continuous stress, while her sister was a Santa."
Of course, also recognizes that "Everything comes out" and that although the return to work was complicated and very early, he had help.
What is it like to be a mother in such different stages of life?
As commented before, Carmen says that in her case the experience turned upside down than expected: "It was easier the first time."
In addition, also the second birth "I faced him with a lot of fear because in the first I had a terrible time. However, the birth of the little girl was much easier and after 15 days I was already working."
How did the older sister take it?
The mother says that her daughter Carmen (they are called the same) never saw the birth of her sister as something negative, but quite the opposite:
"It helped me from the beginning and whenever I needed her, taking care of her as a second mother. At no time did jealousy exist. She has always been a girl, and she is a woman, very conformist."
María Jesús, mother of María Jesús and Javier
This Valencian mother had her two children eleven years apart. She acknowledges that her second pregnancy was a surprise, since her husband worked outside and did not want to have another child until he returned home. But the situation was getting too long and they decided to stop taking the pill so "Although it was not a wanted pregnancy, it was not actively avoided either."
How was it to start over with another baby?
Recognize that the experience of motherhood was very beautiful "since the second child is savored more than the first and more when you are older, but physically it was very heavy."
María Jesús explains that her baby's baths were made uphill "because he suffered back pain" and that it was an almost alone upbringing because "I only got up at night (crying, bottles ...) and was physically very tired."
But it also ensures that, on the other hand, "rejuvenated me" and how he stayed at home for two years after the birth of his young son "It made me go out a lot to the street, to the nursery ... In short: to be more active to go to one side and another." Y,
"I made new friendships with the parents of children my child's age."In addition, this Valencian mother explains:
"I went from living alone with my daughter to being four at home, so the changes were not only due to the baby but also to the circumstances."
What is it like to be a mother in such different stages of life?
This is what Mary Jesus tells us:
"Being a mother at 38 is more beautiful than at 27, it tastes more for the experience you have. My circumstances also influenced: with the first one I was alone in a city that was not mine, with my family away, and I had no support that of my husband. With the second one I was already in my city and I had my sisters, my father close ... It was very different. "
How did the older sister take birth?
"With much joy, but also with jealousy", recognizes Mary Jesus.
"I was happy, because I wanted to have a brother and I already thought that I was not going to arrive. I took care of him and I loved him very much. But at the same time, he stopped studying and began to get bad grades to get our attention."
But this mom also remembers how one day the girl "His brother fell to the ground and had a terrible time, he was in a panic that something had happened to him."
"I protected him a lot and jealousy ended up happening."Mari, mother of Sonia and Sara
Sonia was thirteen when Mari and her husband learned that they were going to be parents for the second time. "It was not something planned, but a contraceptive failure, Mari explains because Sonia was born with problems and it was very hard to raise her, so we were afraid to repeat the experience. "
Even so, recognize that:
"When we discovered that she was pregnant, we decided to move on. There was no need for a problem in childbirth again, and besides with Sonia we were also very happy."
How was it to start over with another baby?
"A mixture between fear and happiness", explains this mother from Madrid.
"The girl was so perfect and the medical examinations were going so well, that we were afraid that at any time the pediatrician would alert us that something was happening."
But the months went by, says Mari, and "We, the three of us, enjoyed the baby. Neither his father nor I cared about sleepless nights to give her the bottle or diaper changes."
We were very happy because the girl was healthy!What is it like to be a mother in such different stages of life?
Mari explains that her experience may not resemble that of other mothers, because her situation was something special.
"I was very excited about Sonia's pregnancy, because everything was going well and I did not imagine at all that there would be a problem. But then, her first years were doctors, emergencies, tests, a visit to school ...".
However with Sara, everything was different:
"Fear pursued me throughout pregnancy and even during the first months of her life. But as soon as we became convinced that I was healthy, I relaxed and the day was very easy. Besides, she is so good…"
How did the older sister take birth?
"I think the birth of her sister was very beneficial for her. We stopped being so overprotective and gave her more freedom of movement.", explains Sonia's mother.
But also, "She became a happier, more sociable girl. Although her father and I feared jealousy, they never appeared and from the first moment she understood that I had to keep an eye on her little sister."
Today Sara is five years old and Sonia is going to turn 18 and, "due to his intellectual disability (and also thanks to her) -explains his mother- they still play dolls together and take care of each other (in their own way). "
"It is true that when I see how well my daughters are now, I regret not having gotten pregnant before, but it is also true that these years served me to dedicate myself exclusively to the oldest, and give all the care and attention I needed and he deserved ",
concludes Mari, mother of Sonia and Sara.
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