Surely we all remember some of the phrases that our mothers or fathers told us as children, and that we hated. Either because of his soniquete, because of the frequency with which we listened to them, or because we felt that our illusions were broken at once.
Before being a mother, I swore to myself that when I had children I would never repeat them, but how complicated it is not to fall into the spell of many of them! So here I am, reflecting on the typical "mother phrases" that many of us have heard in our childhood, and although now we try to avoid with our children, some always ends up escaping ... Does it happen to you too?
"I told you"
It is normal for parents to try to warn our children about certain situations in which we see, clearly, that they are wrong or will fail. But I consider it important that after expressing our opinion, let them act as they consider, promoting their autonomy and accompanying them without intervening.
In Babies and more Do not educate your children to obey you, educate them to make good decisions Logically I mean older children, in which it is assumed that they have a certain ability to reason and analyze what we say. And also, of course, to situations that do not involve risk to them.
As parents it hurts to see that our children fail and that we could have avoided it, but in these situations it is advisable not to fall into "See? I told you so", but accompany them emotionally and help them learn from mistakes.
"But what do you think, what rains the millions?"
Raise your hand who has not heard his parents ever say this phrase or one of its versions (Do you think I am the World Bank? Do you think money falls down the chimney? Is it that the bills grow from the trees? ...).
You have to see how it bothered me to be told this when I was infatuated with something, although the worst part is that I did not quite understand where the problem was: "Well, go to the bank, ask them to give you more money and that's it", he responded to their helpless faces.
It is true that sometimes young children can ask without being aware of the economic cost of things, and the sacrifice that parents are supposed to earn money. Therefore, I think it is convenient to give them from an early age an adequate financial education that makes them value the importance of money, savings and the family economy.
"What am I going to find?"
- "Mom? I can't find my shirt to play the football game!"
- "Well, it will be where it always is, in the drawer of your closet where you keep the sport stuff"
- "No, no. I've searched for her and she isn't there"
- "Have you looked in other drawers, in case we were wrong to save it?
- Yes, and it isn't! What a disaster, I won't be on time for the game! "
In Babies and more Nine tips to organize a Montessori style closet and promote autonomy in dressRead the conversation in a dramatic tone by my son, and with increasing intensity. So before his cries and murmurs, opening and closing drawers as if he were possessed, I decide to go to help him while I say: "What am I going to find her?" Y indeed I find it.
The shirt was in the drawer of the sportswear (where I told him to look), but folded with the shield in, which made him not quickly identify it with the naked eye. Luckily, mothers always found everything!
"Don't do this, that's going to happen to you!"
"Don't run, you're going to fall!", "Don't get up there, you can slip!", "Don't jump in the puddle, you're going to get wet!" ... How many phrases of "mama-drama "Will we have heard throughout our childhood?
I a few, and although as a child I was bothered that my parents anticipated a fall or a slip that often did not occur, I recognize that now as a mother I understand that concern perfectly.
And is that when I see one of my children run through unstable terrain, or I watch them try to climb a tree when we go on a field trip, my pulse accelerates and I can't help falling into it. But every time I am becoming more aware of the many ways we have to say "no" in a constructive and not so alarmist way, offering them alternatives and leaving that "no" exclusively for unwavering situations.
"You can't bathe, your digestion is cut off"
Almost all parents today belong to that generation of children who suffered the torture of having to wait two hours after eating to be able to bathe in the pool, because otherwise We could suffer a terrible digestion cut.
Now we know that it is a mistake to say "digestion cut", since the correct name is hydrocution. We also know that the problem is not water or digestion, but the change in temperature, and that with appropriate precautionary measures, there is no reason to wait two hours. But many of us grew up with that deep-rooted idea, that when summer comes it is hard not to tell children about "Wait a little before bathing ... you just ate and you have to do the digestion".
In Babies and more, can children bathe after eating or do they have to wait two hours?"Because yes" and "why not"
We all know that "Why yes" or "Why not" are not valid answers for a child who asks And who wants to know more. But it is perfectly understandable that sometimes we end up with our heads so saturated with their continuous "why?", That we respond in this typical way.
As a child, I remember how bad I had left when my parents answered this, because I knew that there was no reason to keep answering or asking about that blunt phrase. And although sometimes I have also escaped with one of my children (especially when I am too tired to keep explaining), I am aware that it is not an adequate way to answer your questions.
"Drink the juice that vitamins go away quickly"
Fast and almost without breathing. So that's how I drank the freshly squeezed orange juice when my mother made it for me, and even if I stared, I swear I was able to see the vitamins running away terrified as it took me longer to take it.
In my house we are not very fond of juices, but I recognize that I have also released this phrase after peel and chop my children a piece of fruit and check that it takes their time to eat it, even if you know that vitamins are not going to leave in a matter of minutes.
"Neither but not pear"
"Neither but nor pear" and its multiple versions was the way our parents had to settle an argument. Surely it sounds to you, right?
On some occasion this phrase has come to me also at the insistence of one of my children when it comes to refuting a subject. But then I could not help letting out a laugh, and that is this expression has always seemed a tremendously funny nonsense.
In Babies and more Emotionally connect with children, key to treating (and preventing) serious behavioral problems in childhood"And if Fulanito is thrown over a bridge, are you going behind?"
Mythical phrase where there are them and that all of us, at some point in our childhood (and especially, in our adolescence) have ever heard.
And sometimes children they put us in such a position when comparing with friendsThat releasing something like that seems to be the only way for them to realize that each child is unique and each family has its own circumstances. But surely if we make an effort, we can think of other ways to explain them constructively, why comparing ourselves with your friends is not the best.
"Wrap up that is cold"
Maybe it's because I am extremely cold, or because my mother is too and I have heard this phrase many times throughout my life (even today she keeps telling me every time we say goodbye), but I am one of those who is always aware that children do not have a cold
If I wake up at night, I go to his bed to check that they are properly wrapped; I see them with several layers of clothes if I hear on the news that the temperatures are going to fall; and I even worry when I go to school to pick up my children and I see that in the middle of winter some of their friends go out without their coat. Mine with the cold is not normal; I recognize it.
"It's the first time I feel all day"
When I heard my mother say this phrase, I remember that I did not quite understand her real background and thought it was an absolute exaggeration.
Now that I am a mother I understand perfectly. And it is that you work inside or outside the home, the maelstrom of the day to day and the trajín of being always from one place to another makes that, indeed, the night arrives and when we drop in the armchair let's have the feeling that it's the first time we sat down since we got up in the morning.
In Babies and more, it is harder to stay home with children than to go to work, according to a study"Ask your father" / "Ask your mother"
Among all the "phrases that mother" I remember from my childhood, there was no other that seemed as surreal as the situation that occurred when I asked my mother or my father for permission to do something, and they answered me by asking me to ask the other party.
The problem was when the other parent threw the ball back and we returned to the starting point. From one to another and from another to one without obtaining a clear answer. Has it ever happened to you?
"You are going to kill me of a disgust"
But if there is a dramatic phrase, the power cannot be this. Of course, I don't mean important concerns or acts with serious consequences, but rather normal things that all children do at some point, but that parents can overcome us.
I confess that before some monumental stupefaction of my children, I have also said it once, and the poor have looked at me with wide-eyed eyes without ever understanding the seriousness of the situation and the reason for my words. The best is laugh later all together to dramatize the subject and explain to them the exaggerations that we are sometimes adults with our expressions.
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