I am increasingly convinced that positive discipline is the way to educate my children

When I became a mother for the first time, ten years ago, I had not heard most of the terms and concepts we are considering today related to parenting. I didn't know what kind of mother I would be, nor was I sure how to educate my son: "I'll see it as it grows", he told me.

With time I knew that my way of raising entered into a current called "respectful upbringing", based on love, attachment and respect for the needs of the child. With the arrival of my other two children, parenting and education became more complex, and in my search for methods to breed firmly and love, banishing shouts and authoritarian methods, I ran into Positive Discipline; The lighthouse that guides us today at home.

Thus I began the path of Positive Displina

Although when my first child was born I wanted educate you in a non-authoritarian way-Without accommodating punishments, threats, screams or blackmails-, I recognize that I did not know very well how to do it, because in my immediate environment there were no couples with children to support me, and the vast majority of people of our generation had received a type of education based on authoritarianism.

So my husband and I were doing as we could or believed, reading everything that fell into our hands on how to raise happy children and learning with our son with love and respect as fundamental pillars.

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A shared publication of Maternity ✨Silvia (@silviadj) on May 5, 2019 at 1:02 PDT

But with the arrival of my other two little ones, especially following the arrival of the third, the rhythm of life that we had until then became more complex. The rush of day to day, wanting to reach everything, and the frustrating feeling of wanting to attend to everyone equally without getting it, ended up leading to a spiral of anxiety, impositions, and sometimes even screaming.

Interestingly, what I had always hated had suddenly sneaked into our family, and there were even times when I mistakenly believed that a timely punishment or a reward would solve the problem we might have at that moment.

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But there was a pattern that was repeated every night when I went to bed. And is that by mentally reviewing my day, I felt overwhelmed, sad and hurt for not knowing how to act otherwise. At what time and why had my way of educating my children changed? I was wondering.

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And in my search for solutions to "go back to my origins" and regain that respect in education that both my children and my husband and I deserved, I came into contact with Positive Discipline, and I felt absolutely amazed and trapped by its philosophy.

Thanks to Positive Discipline I began to understand many of the things that were happening in my house, why my children sometimes acted as they did and what feelings were hidden behind a reaction that, until that moment, I did not know how to interpret.

Little by little I was devouring books and articles on Positive Discipline, and I even decided to participate in theoretical-practical workshops that deepened the method a little more. But it wasn't until I became certified as a Family Educator, when I got to really assimilate the magnitude of the change that I had to make in my life.

And since then I can't stop recommend it to all families looking for a change in their children's education. Because children are the present and the future, and in our hands is the important responsibility of making them grow up loved, safe, confident, respected and independent.

What is Positive Discipline?

The Positive Displina has its origins in the 20s, in the ideas of the child psychiatrist Alfred Adler and his colleague, Dreikus. However, it was not until the 1980s, with Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott when this methodology began to be put into practice and to verify its benefits in education.

When defining the Positive Displine, I would say that it is a educational philosophy that is not humiliating, neither for the child nor for the adult, and that bets on relationships based on empathy and mutual respect, personal responsibility and problem solving skills.

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To educate through Positive Discipline we must first "connect" with the child; Understand why he acts as he does and what he seeks from us with a certain behavior. Once we have clear this point, it will be easier to work with him, because when there is connection, empathy and respect It is easier to focus on finding solutions to a problem.

And it is precisely the "focus on solutions" that I like most about this method, along with the visualization of error as an excellent way to learn. Because we all make mistakes, but learn from the consequences of our actions It is undoubtedly more positive than highlighting mistakes and humiliating them.

In short, the path of Positive Discipline has opened a fantastic world for me in the education of my children that I am beginning to express. I would lie if I said that change is being easy and fast, because The results sought with this type of education are based on the long term, but it is a very rewarding and hopeful experience.

And it is that understanding how the child's brain works to connect with him and undertake together the adventure of parenting is essential to build a respectful, firm and loving path for all.

Video: Use this Method to Get Your Child to Listen and Behave (March 2024).